This morning we went to our first "Kindermusic" class: myself, Trafton, and Nana (my mom). I was apprehensive before we even left. T is a little over 19 months old, so I know that he loves to explore and he does NOT love to sit still. (Unless, of course, he is looking at trucks or reading one of his favorite books.)
There were 7 kids there today, all with their mamas. It was a diverse group in more ways than one: ages ranged from 6 months old to an older sibling who was probably around 6 years old. The room was also filled with different skin colors and different abilities. One little boy was adopted and was hearing-impaired. Be still my heart! I had to stop myself from staring at him out of amazement and love.
My worries grew at first while I watched all the other children- how they sat with their mothers and remained quiet as others filtered in. Meanwhile, my curious son greeted everyone by walking right up, staring at them, and sometimes smiling.
I thought...no, I HOPED that once the instructor started to speak and sign (it was a singing and sign language class) Trafton would stop exploring and wandering, and instead sit and listen. Ha! I was a tad bit embarrassed as he continued to check everyone out and make his way around the room. Every so often, he would return to me, squeal "Mama!" and fall into my arms. Other than that, my little independent explorer was doing his thing. I tried to hard to let him "be free", but my inner kindergarten teacher was about to pop when he refused to sit on the carpet and listen. I had to draw the line and get him once he discovered the instructor's doorstop. It was one of those springy types, the kind that you kick or move and it springs back in position with a loud, vibrating "BBBBOOOOOIIIINNNGGGG" sound. Yep, right in the middle of the teacher's chat with the mamas, Trafton discovered this fun, new "toy". He sprung into action (no pun intended) and several heads turned as the sound echoed through the room. He quickly stood up straight, looked right at me, and smiled. It was as if he was proudly declaring, look what I found mama!
My fears lessened as other children slowly loosened up and begun to explore and wander. Despite the physical limitations of some, each child responded in his own way to teddy bears, scarves, balls, and singing. By the end of our time together, children were rolling, crawling, or running every which way.
I have to say: when the instructor dumped several teddy bears in the middle of our circle and let the kids have at it, Trafton made sure that each child had one. He quickly picked one up and I thought 'oh no, I hope he'll share'. Well, my little man sure showed me. Not only did he share the first bear that he picked up, he proceeded to give all the smaller children a teddy. He even picked up one of the last teddy bears and gave it back to the instructor. This sharing might seem like a small victory to some, but I'll take it! I love that he wanted to take care of others' needs.
When it was time to clean up, Trafton continued to make me proud. He stopped playing and began picking things up to hand to the teacher. (Yes, he had a hard time giving up the bag of cheerios that she gave us to play with, but who can blame him?!)
My favorite part of the class?? During the teddy bear song, all the children held a bear and we sang a song and learned some sign language to go along. Once finished, the children were allowed to play and explore with the bears a little more. Liam, the young black child who had been adopted, made his way over the us on the rug. Along with hearing impairment, Liam obviously had some physical limitations as well. Walking was difficult, so he crawled over to Trafton. I asked Trafton to give his bear a kiss. (Background info: T. loves to kiss and hug. "Kisses" involve pursing his lips together and making a humming sound). After my son kissed the bear, he held it out to Liam for him to have a chance to love on the bear. Liam leaned over and pushed his face against the bear and smiled. I think a little precious drool also came out- I LOVED IT. I thought my hormonal behind was going to burst into tears.
Not sure who go more out of the class- T. or his mama :)
Friday, June 8, 2012
Saturday, May 12, 2012
Happy Mother's Day!
Happy Mother's Day to all the wonderful women out there! I just want to share some of the most influential and lovely ladies in my life. They have been such blessings to me in so many ways. It's hard to put into words.
My mom, Carol: She is probably the most patient person that I know. Not kidding. She puts up with so much crud from us, it's kind of ridiculous. I would love to say that I have always stood up for her or defended her from the teasing and ridiculing. But, in truth, I was one of the worst culprits growing up. I still think about things I did or said to my mom when I was younger and phew....let's just say that Trafton would get a serious beating from his daddy if he ever said them to me. She is so smart and so good at what she does for a living; she takes her time with patients at work and sacrifices her own time at home to make sure that people are taken care of. It doesn't stop there though. When she gets home, she continues to put others' needs before her own.
Mema: This is my dad's mom, who passed away several years ago. Even though she's gone, I still feel a connection to her. Not to get all freaky, but sometimes I can almost feel her spark and spirit inside of myself. My daddy once told me that I remind him alot of Mema. This is one of the best things anyone has ever said to me. She didn't take crap from anyone, but she loved people. She loved to sing and dance and just be silly.
Jenn: This is one of my dearest friends who now lives in Greenville. If it were up to me, they would live in our spare bedroom. I hate that she is far away. There are so many times where I am happy about something or in tears and upset when I think "I wish Jenn were here. She would understand." Chris will testify: he hears me say I miss her constantly and he is amazed by the voicemails that we leave each other. You know when you leave a 2 minute long message on someone's phone and you actually start asking them questions? Then you remember that it's a voicemail and it can't talk back? Yeah, that's the kind that we leave each other. Between babies and work, it's hard for us to get in touch alot of the time. But whether it's venting about our husbands, comparing notes on children, or just catching up, I always know that I can say anything to her and she will understand and not judge. I love her, her family, and her parents dearly.
Angela: I have written about this sweet lady before, but I can't say enough about her and her family. Even though they just recently came into our lives, Chris/Trafton/I are so thankful for them. Angela takes care of T. three days a week, but has also become one of my closest friends. I love to bounce things off of her and get mommy advice. She faithfully prays for us and is so understanding when I have to switch days on her or leave Trafton late into the afternoon. And I can't describe how much we value Angela and Terry as a couple. Terry can make us laugh until our sides hurt. So not only did God give us a great sitter, we also were blessed with a family of friends too.
Susan: This sweet lady was my Young Life leader in high school. I know that God would have gotten His hands on me one way or another, but Susan played a HUGE part in it. He used her patience and love to really speak to me. She took me to a Young Life camp when I was 15 and I discovered redemption through Jesus. It was exciting and confusing all at one time, but Susan would sit and answer my questions late into the night. Although we don't talk alot anymore, I still have such a deep love and appreciation for her leading me to Christ.
Debbie: I am honored to work with this lady every day. Last week, Debbie had to miss three days because her oldest son was graduating college. (Yay, JJ!) I had a terrific sub, but I missed my mama :) You know when you laugh so hard that it hurts OR you laugh until no sound comes out? That's what she makes me do sometimes. On the flip side, I have cried to her and her eyes well up with empathy. She is so understanding and so NONjudgemental. She is just the kind of person that I need working alongside me in my classroom.
Joy: Have you ever seen the movie "Monster In Law"? Jane Fonda plays a conniving, vicious mother in law who refuses to let go of her son and refuses to love his new wife. Yeah, this is pretty much the opposite of Joy. She not only cares for Chris and Trafton, she also cares for me. She is soft-spoken and a wonderful listener (um, the opposite of me! I am trying to learn from her.) and she truly has a servant's heart. Each day when I pick Trafton up, she always asks me how I'm feeling or how my day was. And she's not asking to be nice; she truly cares and wants to hear. She folds our laundry (one of my LEAST favorite things to do) and washes dishes (I hate stoneware....why can't they make some that runs through the dishwasher?!) for us.
Thank you, Lord, for placing these special mamas in my life. I hope some of their goodness will rub off on me. :)
My mom, Carol: She is probably the most patient person that I know. Not kidding. She puts up with so much crud from us, it's kind of ridiculous. I would love to say that I have always stood up for her or defended her from the teasing and ridiculing. But, in truth, I was one of the worst culprits growing up. I still think about things I did or said to my mom when I was younger and phew....let's just say that Trafton would get a serious beating from his daddy if he ever said them to me. She is so smart and so good at what she does for a living; she takes her time with patients at work and sacrifices her own time at home to make sure that people are taken care of. It doesn't stop there though. When she gets home, she continues to put others' needs before her own.
Mema: This is my dad's mom, who passed away several years ago. Even though she's gone, I still feel a connection to her. Not to get all freaky, but sometimes I can almost feel her spark and spirit inside of myself. My daddy once told me that I remind him alot of Mema. This is one of the best things anyone has ever said to me. She didn't take crap from anyone, but she loved people. She loved to sing and dance and just be silly.
Jenn: This is one of my dearest friends who now lives in Greenville. If it were up to me, they would live in our spare bedroom. I hate that she is far away. There are so many times where I am happy about something or in tears and upset when I think "I wish Jenn were here. She would understand." Chris will testify: he hears me say I miss her constantly and he is amazed by the voicemails that we leave each other. You know when you leave a 2 minute long message on someone's phone and you actually start asking them questions? Then you remember that it's a voicemail and it can't talk back? Yeah, that's the kind that we leave each other. Between babies and work, it's hard for us to get in touch alot of the time. But whether it's venting about our husbands, comparing notes on children, or just catching up, I always know that I can say anything to her and she will understand and not judge. I love her, her family, and her parents dearly.
Angela: I have written about this sweet lady before, but I can't say enough about her and her family. Even though they just recently came into our lives, Chris/Trafton/I are so thankful for them. Angela takes care of T. three days a week, but has also become one of my closest friends. I love to bounce things off of her and get mommy advice. She faithfully prays for us and is so understanding when I have to switch days on her or leave Trafton late into the afternoon. And I can't describe how much we value Angela and Terry as a couple. Terry can make us laugh until our sides hurt. So not only did God give us a great sitter, we also were blessed with a family of friends too.
Susan: This sweet lady was my Young Life leader in high school. I know that God would have gotten His hands on me one way or another, but Susan played a HUGE part in it. He used her patience and love to really speak to me. She took me to a Young Life camp when I was 15 and I discovered redemption through Jesus. It was exciting and confusing all at one time, but Susan would sit and answer my questions late into the night. Although we don't talk alot anymore, I still have such a deep love and appreciation for her leading me to Christ.
Debbie: I am honored to work with this lady every day. Last week, Debbie had to miss three days because her oldest son was graduating college. (Yay, JJ!) I had a terrific sub, but I missed my mama :) You know when you laugh so hard that it hurts OR you laugh until no sound comes out? That's what she makes me do sometimes. On the flip side, I have cried to her and her eyes well up with empathy. She is so understanding and so NONjudgemental. She is just the kind of person that I need working alongside me in my classroom.
Joy: Have you ever seen the movie "Monster In Law"? Jane Fonda plays a conniving, vicious mother in law who refuses to let go of her son and refuses to love his new wife. Yeah, this is pretty much the opposite of Joy. She not only cares for Chris and Trafton, she also cares for me. She is soft-spoken and a wonderful listener (um, the opposite of me! I am trying to learn from her.) and she truly has a servant's heart. Each day when I pick Trafton up, she always asks me how I'm feeling or how my day was. And she's not asking to be nice; she truly cares and wants to hear. She folds our laundry (one of my LEAST favorite things to do) and washes dishes (I hate stoneware....why can't they make some that runs through the dishwasher?!) for us.
Thank you, Lord, for placing these special mamas in my life. I hope some of their goodness will rub off on me. :)
Sunday, May 6, 2012
So it's 7:00 am and I already have a disgusting image stuck in my brain. This, I'm afraid, is going to be a nasty blog. I try to stay positive and celebrate God's blessings when I write, but I'm going to have to vent a little bit...
A friend of mine at school was telling me the other day how she is a magnet for animals: the lost, the hurt, the rejected....she just seems to want them all. She's not the only one. For those of you who know us, you know that I am constantly begging Chris for a slew of animals.
Goats- so they can eat the grass and he won't have to cut it. Duh!
Horses- so we can ride and love them
Cows- I love their sweet eyelashes and I want to raise one from a calf
Otters- yes, I realize that this is bizarre. I can't resist their cute, whiskered faces. All I'd need is a pond out back....not too much to ask, right?!
Ducks- they would share the otters' pond, of course.
The point is, I am very similar to my friend. I will donate to the ASPCA and Humane Society in hopes of helping animals. I will pick up strays and beg to give them a home. I will cry when it appears that animals are hurt on a movie. I will call my trooper of a husband at 7:00 am and ask him to drive and move the turtle that I saw in the road on my way to work. (And yes, he will sometimes agree to it. That's why I love him.) I used to cry when my mom would kill bugs in our house, insisting instead that she place them outside. And I still encourage my kids at school to take them outdoors instead of squishing them. It gets extreme, but my line of thinking is this:
God has created EVERYTHING on earth and we are to respect it. He has created all of mankind, but also all of the little creatures. In the old testament, he does place us in charge of animals and grants us the right the eat some of them. He does not grant us the right to take advantage of them or mistreat them.
Yes, my husband is a deer hunter. I realize that this might seem a bit hypocritical for me to be preaching about caring for animals while he shoots them. He has not been hunting in quite a while, which I am silently celebrating :) But I don't tell him not to go, because I know it's something that HE enjoys. I even went with him once in our early dating days. I'm not gonna lie: I loved getting up early and going to get coffee and breakfast at Hardee's while it was still dark outside. I LOVED spending the day with him and watching him all decked out in camo. And I loved putting on my own snake boots that he purchased for me (ahh, redneck love!) and holding a gun to see what it felt like. I also had a realization while I was with him: Chris is respectful of animals and follows the rules when it comes to hunting. He does nothing illegally and He obeys God by bringing home the meat to eat. There are no deer head trophies in our home, and he doesn't flaunt the fact that he is able to kill something. He hates to see animals suffer too, which is why I know that he hunts for the right reasons.
So back to the disturbing image that I came across while drinking coffee this morning. Read the following:
As that dog lay on the ground fighting for air, Quanis Phillips grabbed its front legs and Michael Vick grabbed its hind legs. They swung the dog over their heads like a jump rope then slammed it to the ground. The first impact didn’t kill it. So Phillips and Vick slammed it again. The two men kept at it, alternating back and forth, pounding the creature against the ground, until at last, the little red dog was dead."- This is who Nike chooses to support and endorse. So I'm done supporting them. I can't even imagine shaking a hand with so much blood on it, much less putting money in it.See More
A friend of mine at school was telling me the other day how she is a magnet for animals: the lost, the hurt, the rejected....she just seems to want them all. She's not the only one. For those of you who know us, you know that I am constantly begging Chris for a slew of animals.
Goats- so they can eat the grass and he won't have to cut it. Duh!
Horses- so we can ride and love them
Cows- I love their sweet eyelashes and I want to raise one from a calf
Otters- yes, I realize that this is bizarre. I can't resist their cute, whiskered faces. All I'd need is a pond out back....not too much to ask, right?!
Ducks- they would share the otters' pond, of course.
The point is, I am very similar to my friend. I will donate to the ASPCA and Humane Society in hopes of helping animals. I will pick up strays and beg to give them a home. I will cry when it appears that animals are hurt on a movie. I will call my trooper of a husband at 7:00 am and ask him to drive and move the turtle that I saw in the road on my way to work. (And yes, he will sometimes agree to it. That's why I love him.) I used to cry when my mom would kill bugs in our house, insisting instead that she place them outside. And I still encourage my kids at school to take them outdoors instead of squishing them. It gets extreme, but my line of thinking is this:
God has created EVERYTHING on earth and we are to respect it. He has created all of mankind, but also all of the little creatures. In the old testament, he does place us in charge of animals and grants us the right the eat some of them. He does not grant us the right to take advantage of them or mistreat them.
Yes, my husband is a deer hunter. I realize that this might seem a bit hypocritical for me to be preaching about caring for animals while he shoots them. He has not been hunting in quite a while, which I am silently celebrating :) But I don't tell him not to go, because I know it's something that HE enjoys. I even went with him once in our early dating days. I'm not gonna lie: I loved getting up early and going to get coffee and breakfast at Hardee's while it was still dark outside. I LOVED spending the day with him and watching him all decked out in camo. And I loved putting on my own snake boots that he purchased for me (ahh, redneck love!) and holding a gun to see what it felt like. I also had a realization while I was with him: Chris is respectful of animals and follows the rules when it comes to hunting. He does nothing illegally and He obeys God by bringing home the meat to eat. There are no deer head trophies in our home, and he doesn't flaunt the fact that he is able to kill something. He hates to see animals suffer too, which is why I know that he hunts for the right reasons.
So back to the disturbing image that I came across while drinking coffee this morning. Read the following:
As that dog lay on the ground fighting for air, Quanis Phillips grabbed its front legs and Michael Vick grabbed its hind legs. They swung the dog over their heads like a jump rope then slammed it to the ground. The first impact didn’t kill it. So Phillips and Vick slammed it again. The two men kept at it, alternating back and forth, pounding the creature against the ground, until at last, the little red dog was dead."- This is who Nike chooses to support and endorse. So I'm done supporting them. I can't even imagine shaking a hand with so much blood on it, much less putting money in it.See More
Um, yeah. I can't express the anger and disgust that enters my mind when I read this. I know that as a believer I'm not supposed to hate. But my dislike for Vick and those who dogfight comes mighty close to hatred. Karma can be a wicked thing; Revenge is left up to God and I hope that one day these evil people encounter a fiery storm of judgment from Him. Thankfully, the Lord also reminds me that He knows everyone's heart. Perhaps Michael Vick has realized the error of his ways and has asked for forgiveness. I have no right to judge him or anyone else, but that doesn't erase the fact that he commited the unspeakable to other living creatures. I don't want to support or like him, and I certainly do not like the fact that he injured countless defenseless animals and is allowed to play football again. Our society is so twisted, but that's a whole 'nother blog.
Here is my suggestion: If you beat a dog till it's death, the same will be done to you. If you choose to electrocute an animal, purposely injure an animal, or throw an animal out of a moving vehicle, the same will be done to you. When you cause unimaginable pain and do so intentionally to something so innocent, the same will be done to you. And by the way, when you take pleasure in hurting one of God's defenseless creations, doesn't that make you a bit psychotic?! In my opinion, you have some big issues.
Friday, April 20, 2012
Goodbyes
I know that sounds like the cheesiest title ever, but I've been thinking about saying goodbye to certain people in my life recently. I know that alot of folks don't say goodbye. Instead, they choose to say 'see ya later'. But the fact remains: situations and circumstances change, and sometimes I find myself wondering why God's plan has to involve putting extra space between me and the ones I love.
One of my dearest friends is leaving Fort Mill and moving because she got a teaching job in her hometown. She is from Columbia like me, but ironically we did not meet until we were both teaching up here. Over the past two years, she has become like a sister to me. I swear I think we share a brain. She is one of those friends that I feel like I don't have to explain things, or (even better!) she will finish my sentence for me. Agreeing on something, venting about things, celebrating or crying over things can really forge a bond between two people. I feel like she and I have done alot of this over the past couple of years. One morning, a few weeks ago, I got to school and had an email from my friend: Are you in your room? (Non-teachers, you may laugh at the fact that we work in the same building and yet we email each other before visiting...if you walked those halls twenty times a day, you would do it too!)
Anyway, I read her email and immediately felt something in the pit of my stomach. My first thought was 'uh-oh'. My classroom is at the opposite end of the school, away from the parking lot. My friend's room is on my way out the door. Therefore, I am usually the one visiting/stalking her. When she asked me about visiting, I just knew something was up. When she told me the news- that she would be leaving- I can honestly say that I felt joy for her. I know that she is anxious to feel settled somewhere and I think her heart has been pulling her towards home. After the short joyful celebration in my head, the sad panic settled in my heart. I think I sobbed in the hallway while blubbering, "I really AM happy for you!" It's difficult to imagine my life- both professional and personal- without this person being a few minutes away. We may not talk each day, but I feel such a connection, such a sisterhood, with this woman that it breaks my heart to say goodbye. But this is a time when God asks us to put the selfishness aside and remember that HIS plan is most important.
Along with saying goodbye to people, I hate to say goodbye to situations or things that make me happy. This school year is coming to a close in a few weeks, and it makes my heart heavy. Dont get me wrong: I am so excited about the summer. But what a year! To watch kindergarten students grow and change has been wonderful. More than that, I feel so supported and loved by so many of the parents. I hate to say goodbye to those relationships, but I know God will allow more to form in next year's classroom. I know that He will bless some 1st grade teachers with amazing parents and kids.
So, here's the part that makes the tears come. The end of the school year marks the end of my favorite year of teaching. After 8 years, I can truly say this has been the best for a variety of reasons. I have been waiting to teach kindergarten, so obviously the switch was exciting, new, and gratifying. More than that, I was given a year with the most dedicated, funny, slightly crazy woman that I know. Debbie has truly become my Fort Mill mama. She jokes that I am the daughter she never had, but in truth, our relationship does not feel far from that. I have known her for years, but this year has allowed us to form a bond, a partnership that has made me a better teacher and a better person.
Being in a room with another adult all day seemed intimidating at first. I wondered what she would think of my teaching style or how I talked to the kids. I also wondered how open I could be if I was celebrating something or having a hard day. Turns out, God gave me an angel with open arms. Y'all, I'm telling you- this woman never judges me. I have confessed things to her, shared stories with her, cried about things, and laughed until breathless with her. We've even sang/danced 'Chicka Chicka Boom Boom' together for the kids. She's planning to move in with my rainbow family in a few years. (Chris doesn't know this yet, but I don't think he'll mind.)
Makes me think of Ecclesiastes 3:
For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:
It is so difficult to trust God's timing, but He knows what He's doing.
May everything work out for HIS glory.
One of my dearest friends is leaving Fort Mill and moving because she got a teaching job in her hometown. She is from Columbia like me, but ironically we did not meet until we were both teaching up here. Over the past two years, she has become like a sister to me. I swear I think we share a brain. She is one of those friends that I feel like I don't have to explain things, or (even better!) she will finish my sentence for me. Agreeing on something, venting about things, celebrating or crying over things can really forge a bond between two people. I feel like she and I have done alot of this over the past couple of years. One morning, a few weeks ago, I got to school and had an email from my friend: Are you in your room? (Non-teachers, you may laugh at the fact that we work in the same building and yet we email each other before visiting...if you walked those halls twenty times a day, you would do it too!)
Anyway, I read her email and immediately felt something in the pit of my stomach. My first thought was 'uh-oh'. My classroom is at the opposite end of the school, away from the parking lot. My friend's room is on my way out the door. Therefore, I am usually the one visiting/stalking her. When she asked me about visiting, I just knew something was up. When she told me the news- that she would be leaving- I can honestly say that I felt joy for her. I know that she is anxious to feel settled somewhere and I think her heart has been pulling her towards home. After the short joyful celebration in my head, the sad panic settled in my heart. I think I sobbed in the hallway while blubbering, "I really AM happy for you!" It's difficult to imagine my life- both professional and personal- without this person being a few minutes away. We may not talk each day, but I feel such a connection, such a sisterhood, with this woman that it breaks my heart to say goodbye. But this is a time when God asks us to put the selfishness aside and remember that HIS plan is most important.
Along with saying goodbye to people, I hate to say goodbye to situations or things that make me happy. This school year is coming to a close in a few weeks, and it makes my heart heavy. Dont get me wrong: I am so excited about the summer. But what a year! To watch kindergarten students grow and change has been wonderful. More than that, I feel so supported and loved by so many of the parents. I hate to say goodbye to those relationships, but I know God will allow more to form in next year's classroom. I know that He will bless some 1st grade teachers with amazing parents and kids.
So, here's the part that makes the tears come. The end of the school year marks the end of my favorite year of teaching. After 8 years, I can truly say this has been the best for a variety of reasons. I have been waiting to teach kindergarten, so obviously the switch was exciting, new, and gratifying. More than that, I was given a year with the most dedicated, funny, slightly crazy woman that I know. Debbie has truly become my Fort Mill mama. She jokes that I am the daughter she never had, but in truth, our relationship does not feel far from that. I have known her for years, but this year has allowed us to form a bond, a partnership that has made me a better teacher and a better person.
Being in a room with another adult all day seemed intimidating at first. I wondered what she would think of my teaching style or how I talked to the kids. I also wondered how open I could be if I was celebrating something or having a hard day. Turns out, God gave me an angel with open arms. Y'all, I'm telling you- this woman never judges me. I have confessed things to her, shared stories with her, cried about things, and laughed until breathless with her. We've even sang/danced 'Chicka Chicka Boom Boom' together for the kids. She's planning to move in with my rainbow family in a few years. (Chris doesn't know this yet, but I don't think he'll mind.)
Makes me think of Ecclesiastes 3:
For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:
a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace.
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace.
It is so difficult to trust God's timing, but He knows what He's doing.
May everything work out for HIS glory.
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Glorious Chaos
Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?
Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
Do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
(Matt. 6: 25, 27, 31-34)
On the way to work Friday, I felt tired. It was not even 8:00 in the morning, and I found myself already feeling worn out. It was a good worn out though. In the morning, I usually think about my upcoming day- school, where Trafton is, what the day will entail for all of our family. While driving that morning, it hit me: I am living day by day. This may sound obvious to some, but for me- a recovering control freak- it's pretty amazing. When Chris and I first started dating, I'd have plans for us for like the next two weeks. As a laidback, take-it-as-it-comes fella, it would drive him crazy. I would get irritable if things "sprung up" or if my plans were screwed up. Worst of all was when I would have to miss working out one morning. Like if my alarm clock did not go off or if something unexpected happened, watch out. I wanted to control what happened each day. If possible, I'd have my week mapped out: what I'd be doing, who I'd be seeing, what type of workout I would do each day.
How things change! I'd like to take the credit and say "Yeah, I've relaxed so much since having Trafton". I definitely think motherhood has changed me and helped me relax when things don't go my way. It has been a true learning experience, but also a GROWING experience from God. I feel like there are so many reasons He chose to make my little Trafton, but one big reason has to do with letting go and relying on God.
With children, there is no schedule for next week. Yes, you have the basics down: what days you'll work, plans to see family, or go out of town. Sometimes these things even get messed up. There's no spur-of-the-moment dates, long and consistent workouts, or leisurely shopping trips. Nope- traded that all in for snuggling with Chris after T. goes to bed and squeezing in some frantic workouts when I can get out of bed early enough. And shopping? We map out our trips and get out when we're done, especially if nap time is nearing.
The bottom line is I NEEDED to let go and change. I needed to stop planning and realize that I might only have this one day to live and celebrate. If I can't shop for new clothes for a while, oh well. If I can't fit in a workout because I'm spending time with my family, so be it. If I have to reorganize my week because of things that come up, then I'll do what I have to do. Our life is chaotic, but it's a glorious chaos.
Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
Do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
(Matt. 6: 25, 27, 31-34)
On the way to work Friday, I felt tired. It was not even 8:00 in the morning, and I found myself already feeling worn out. It was a good worn out though. In the morning, I usually think about my upcoming day- school, where Trafton is, what the day will entail for all of our family. While driving that morning, it hit me: I am living day by day. This may sound obvious to some, but for me- a recovering control freak- it's pretty amazing. When Chris and I first started dating, I'd have plans for us for like the next two weeks. As a laidback, take-it-as-it-comes fella, it would drive him crazy. I would get irritable if things "sprung up" or if my plans were screwed up. Worst of all was when I would have to miss working out one morning. Like if my alarm clock did not go off or if something unexpected happened, watch out. I wanted to control what happened each day. If possible, I'd have my week mapped out: what I'd be doing, who I'd be seeing, what type of workout I would do each day.
How things change! I'd like to take the credit and say "Yeah, I've relaxed so much since having Trafton". I definitely think motherhood has changed me and helped me relax when things don't go my way. It has been a true learning experience, but also a GROWING experience from God. I feel like there are so many reasons He chose to make my little Trafton, but one big reason has to do with letting go and relying on God.
With children, there is no schedule for next week. Yes, you have the basics down: what days you'll work, plans to see family, or go out of town. Sometimes these things even get messed up. There's no spur-of-the-moment dates, long and consistent workouts, or leisurely shopping trips. Nope- traded that all in for snuggling with Chris after T. goes to bed and squeezing in some frantic workouts when I can get out of bed early enough. And shopping? We map out our trips and get out when we're done, especially if nap time is nearing.
The bottom line is I NEEDED to let go and change. I needed to stop planning and realize that I might only have this one day to live and celebrate. If I can't shop for new clothes for a while, oh well. If I can't fit in a workout because I'm spending time with my family, so be it. If I have to reorganize my week because of things that come up, then I'll do what I have to do. Our life is chaotic, but it's a glorious chaos.
Friday, April 6, 2012
Good Friday
I love this time of year. Trees start to bloom and new life sprouts up everywhere. Chris and I were able to witness a new life growing inside my (BIG!) tummy yesterday. Our midwife, Jan, is one our family's angels. There are times that you feel such certainty that God ordains things; meeting Jan was one of those times for us. While visiting her yesterday, I learned that I am about 12 weeks pregnant. This is was reassuring because 1) there's a reason my midsection is already quite large, and 2) our second little one is 12 weeks old and growing stronger day by day.
With Trafton, we immediately heard his feisty little heartbeat. It never failed: at each visit, it was immediately heard, loud and persistent. (Hmmm, a sign of his little toddler personality now?!) When Jan first tried to find little baby's heartbeat yesterday, we couldn't hear a thing. Seconds felt like minutes and I almost started to cry. Just as I started to doubt, there it was! Jan and Chris both held my hands and I listened to that little bean's heart- strong and persistent. What a beautiful moment :)
Even though that was yesterday, I consider it part of the wonderful 24 hours I have had. Lunch with my husband yesterday (a rare treat) and then hearing the baby's precious heartbeat were just the beginning. My Friday has indeed been a GOOD FRIDAY. His blessings abound.
First and foremost, we will be celebrating Easter this weekend. I love this day- to me, it's a bigger "victory" or celebration for those who believe in and follow Jesus. It's a day that we are reminded, through scripture, song, and flowers blooming, that "the old has gone, the new has come" (2 Cor. 5:17).
Second, it's been such an awesome, relaxing day with my son. Chris is at work today, so it's just me and the little man.
- We've exercised. (I walked on the treadmill, while Trafton went down his slide or stood beside me and twisted back and forth.)
- We made a trip to Target to get food and special goodies for Easter :) I am so thankful that we have the money to pay for groceries and bills.
- I realized, 'hey, we get to decorate another baby's room'! My husband groans at the thought of this. I start browsing websites and catalogs, happily overwhelmed by different ideas.
- T. took a nap while I read outside in the sunshine. A little sunburnt, but I'll take it!
- We are now baking brownies and building train tracks. I've gotten a small taste of being a stay at home mama this week.
Lastly, we'll get to see lots of special people tomorrow. We'll spend most of the day with my parents, Trafton's Great Nini, and my uncle Tommy. We'll also see one of my best friends who (I am embarassed to say!) I have not seen before Christmas! I'll be delivering Easter love AND Christmas gifts tomorrow :)
Hope you all have a very special weekend!
With Trafton, we immediately heard his feisty little heartbeat. It never failed: at each visit, it was immediately heard, loud and persistent. (Hmmm, a sign of his little toddler personality now?!) When Jan first tried to find little baby's heartbeat yesterday, we couldn't hear a thing. Seconds felt like minutes and I almost started to cry. Just as I started to doubt, there it was! Jan and Chris both held my hands and I listened to that little bean's heart- strong and persistent. What a beautiful moment :)
Even though that was yesterday, I consider it part of the wonderful 24 hours I have had. Lunch with my husband yesterday (a rare treat) and then hearing the baby's precious heartbeat were just the beginning. My Friday has indeed been a GOOD FRIDAY. His blessings abound.
First and foremost, we will be celebrating Easter this weekend. I love this day- to me, it's a bigger "victory" or celebration for those who believe in and follow Jesus. It's a day that we are reminded, through scripture, song, and flowers blooming, that "the old has gone, the new has come" (2 Cor. 5:17).
Second, it's been such an awesome, relaxing day with my son. Chris is at work today, so it's just me and the little man.
- We've exercised. (I walked on the treadmill, while Trafton went down his slide or stood beside me and twisted back and forth.)
- We made a trip to Target to get food and special goodies for Easter :) I am so thankful that we have the money to pay for groceries and bills.
- I realized, 'hey, we get to decorate another baby's room'! My husband groans at the thought of this. I start browsing websites and catalogs, happily overwhelmed by different ideas.
- T. took a nap while I read outside in the sunshine. A little sunburnt, but I'll take it!
- We are now baking brownies and building train tracks. I've gotten a small taste of being a stay at home mama this week.
Lastly, we'll get to see lots of special people tomorrow. We'll spend most of the day with my parents, Trafton's Great Nini, and my uncle Tommy. We'll also see one of my best friends who (I am embarassed to say!) I have not seen before Christmas! I'll be delivering Easter love AND Christmas gifts tomorrow :)
Hope you all have a very special weekend!
Saturday, March 24, 2012
No More Excuses
Today has been an emotional, exhausting, and wonderful day. Chris and I left Trafton with his second family today (thank you, Emenhisers!) and traveled to Spartanburg for an adoption seminar. It was organized by America World Adoption; it was relatively small but powerful.
This morning, as I drank my crack (coffee), I read a devotion entitled "I know it's what I'm supposed to do, but..."
Mistake? I don't think so. It was all about how God speaks to us and we are to respond. We are to remain faithful to him and follow through when he nudges us forward.
As we drove, Chris and I talked about words. I am not shy about sharing personal thoughts with those I love. One reason: I like to profess things out loud. For instance, saying "We feel like we are supposed to adopt" is a public declaration of sorts. Until now, I was fearful of public opinion; I was scared someone would tell me I was a nut or stupid. I have recently realized that I don't really care if someone disagrees with us adopting or thinks it is a foolish move. In a way, we are asking those around us to hold us accountable. By telling others that we feel this calling, we are allowing ourselves to be questioned about it later. This is good for me- it keeps me focused. I'm NOT saying that we are to do everything we say we are going to do and do it perfectly. Rather, if GOD calls us to do something, we are to obey and act. By telling others, it becomes real. (Or it makes me feel like an idiot.)
So, back to the day. After arriving at the seminar, they started a video presentation. One of the verses was Proverbs 18:21: The tongue has the power of life and death. I almost laughed out loud, as we had JUST been talking about words and professing things out loud. Indeed, our tongue can hurt or help others. But it can also set us up for the future. Once I speak something, it's out there. Once I declare that God has spoken and I am following, I better do it.
For Chris, there were other words that hit him hardest. One of the speakers was a lady who was in the process of adopting. They had four boys of their own (she needs a medal) and they are getting ready to adopt from China. She openly explained that they were living in a way that didn't glorify God financially; they were not giving what they could to others. She told us that she read Crazy Love by Francis Chan (I LITERALLY slapped Chris at this point and squealed! This is one of my most favorite books in the world!) and it changed her life. Join the club, sister.
She said she realized "God doesn't bless us to keep the blessings all to ourselves. We are to give them away to others". Chris was hit hard by this. He told me later that those words made him SURE that this was our path. We may not have oodles of money put away, but we are given so much by our Lord. If we feel this calling, we are to respond. It is our responsibility.
Another couple spoke and let me tell you: this wife made me feel at ease. So I'm NOT crazy! And it IS possible! She was from Columbia originally (and a former second grade teacher) and her husband was from Rock Hill. They had their second little girl and she was 11 weeks old when this mommy heard God's whispers. She admitted that she wondered if she was crazy. But they started the paperwork and they are waiting on their little girl to come home now. When they asked me about countries that we were interested in, I professed to them, "I want a rainbow family!" Yeah, this is one of those times that I could potentially feel like an idiot. Instead of laughing, the husband shook his head, pointed to his wife, and said "Y'all need to hang out". Ha! She agreed with me that she too had always been interested in having a colorful family :)
God gave us a chance to spend time with brothers and sisters today. We were encouraged by their stories and it made my heart truly happy to know that there are other mamas out there feeling this way. Aside from wonderful fellowship, God used these folks to challenge us. This IS possible and it IS my plan for you.
These verses, from The Message, make me smile and gulp at the same time:
Rescue the perishing;
don't hesitate to step in and help.
If you say, "Hey, that's none of my business,"
will that get you off the hook?
Someone is watching you closely, you know—
Someone not impressed with weak excuses.
(Proverbs 24:12)
Lord, I am tired of excuses. I am tired of living safely and comfortably. I'm not saying that I'm going to sell our house and give all of our belongings away- although that is awesome if someone can do it. Instead, I am tired of my response to when God speaks....
Chris won't like that idea, God. I don't think I'll mention it to him.
Umm, I'm a public school teacher, God. Chris is a firefighter. We're not exactly millionaires.
We won't have enough bedrooms in our house if we adopt, God! It won't leave any bedrooms for guests.
People will think we're being careless or silly.
Okay, fine Lord. We'll adopt, but the child needs to be a certain age or from the country that WE choose. Oh, and maybe some minor special needs but nothing that takes us out of our comfort zone. 'Kay? Thanks.
The reality? He laughs at my excuses and my objections, knowing that He will get His way in the end. I cherish the baby growing inside me, and I worry about when we'll be able to adopt a child. He knows the timing and exactly how it will play out. He already knows exactly what child (children??) are going to share our home with us. They are going to be unbelievably beautiful and perfect in our eyes, and they are going to absolutely steal our hearts.
This morning, as I drank my crack (coffee), I read a devotion entitled "I know it's what I'm supposed to do, but..."
Mistake? I don't think so. It was all about how God speaks to us and we are to respond. We are to remain faithful to him and follow through when he nudges us forward.
As we drove, Chris and I talked about words. I am not shy about sharing personal thoughts with those I love. One reason: I like to profess things out loud. For instance, saying "We feel like we are supposed to adopt" is a public declaration of sorts. Until now, I was fearful of public opinion; I was scared someone would tell me I was a nut or stupid. I have recently realized that I don't really care if someone disagrees with us adopting or thinks it is a foolish move. In a way, we are asking those around us to hold us accountable. By telling others that we feel this calling, we are allowing ourselves to be questioned about it later. This is good for me- it keeps me focused. I'm NOT saying that we are to do everything we say we are going to do and do it perfectly. Rather, if GOD calls us to do something, we are to obey and act. By telling others, it becomes real. (Or it makes me feel like an idiot.)
So, back to the day. After arriving at the seminar, they started a video presentation. One of the verses was Proverbs 18:21: The tongue has the power of life and death. I almost laughed out loud, as we had JUST been talking about words and professing things out loud. Indeed, our tongue can hurt or help others. But it can also set us up for the future. Once I speak something, it's out there. Once I declare that God has spoken and I am following, I better do it.
For Chris, there were other words that hit him hardest. One of the speakers was a lady who was in the process of adopting. They had four boys of their own (she needs a medal) and they are getting ready to adopt from China. She openly explained that they were living in a way that didn't glorify God financially; they were not giving what they could to others. She told us that she read Crazy Love by Francis Chan (I LITERALLY slapped Chris at this point and squealed! This is one of my most favorite books in the world!) and it changed her life. Join the club, sister.
She said she realized "God doesn't bless us to keep the blessings all to ourselves. We are to give them away to others". Chris was hit hard by this. He told me later that those words made him SURE that this was our path. We may not have oodles of money put away, but we are given so much by our Lord. If we feel this calling, we are to respond. It is our responsibility.
Another couple spoke and let me tell you: this wife made me feel at ease. So I'm NOT crazy! And it IS possible! She was from Columbia originally (and a former second grade teacher) and her husband was from Rock Hill. They had their second little girl and she was 11 weeks old when this mommy heard God's whispers. She admitted that she wondered if she was crazy. But they started the paperwork and they are waiting on their little girl to come home now. When they asked me about countries that we were interested in, I professed to them, "I want a rainbow family!" Yeah, this is one of those times that I could potentially feel like an idiot. Instead of laughing, the husband shook his head, pointed to his wife, and said "Y'all need to hang out". Ha! She agreed with me that she too had always been interested in having a colorful family :)
God gave us a chance to spend time with brothers and sisters today. We were encouraged by their stories and it made my heart truly happy to know that there are other mamas out there feeling this way. Aside from wonderful fellowship, God used these folks to challenge us. This IS possible and it IS my plan for you.
These verses, from The Message, make me smile and gulp at the same time:
Rescue the perishing;
don't hesitate to step in and help.
If you say, "Hey, that's none of my business,"
will that get you off the hook?
Someone is watching you closely, you know—
Someone not impressed with weak excuses.
(Proverbs 24:12)
Lord, I am tired of excuses. I am tired of living safely and comfortably. I'm not saying that I'm going to sell our house and give all of our belongings away- although that is awesome if someone can do it. Instead, I am tired of my response to when God speaks....
Chris won't like that idea, God. I don't think I'll mention it to him.
Umm, I'm a public school teacher, God. Chris is a firefighter. We're not exactly millionaires.
We won't have enough bedrooms in our house if we adopt, God! It won't leave any bedrooms for guests.
People will think we're being careless or silly.
Okay, fine Lord. We'll adopt, but the child needs to be a certain age or from the country that WE choose. Oh, and maybe some minor special needs but nothing that takes us out of our comfort zone. 'Kay? Thanks.
The reality? He laughs at my excuses and my objections, knowing that He will get His way in the end. I cherish the baby growing inside me, and I worry about when we'll be able to adopt a child. He knows the timing and exactly how it will play out. He already knows exactly what child (children??) are going to share our home with us. They are going to be unbelievably beautiful and perfect in our eyes, and they are going to absolutely steal our hearts.
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