So...it's that time of year again. Everyone is posting what they are thankful for. Soon, we'll start to hear aspirations for the new year. I re-read my post from last year and the hopes I had for 2012:
I want to lose some weight (or gain some weight, depending on what God's plan may
be for our family!).
I want to join a church! Chris and I have been
searching and we are past ready.
I would like to learn more about the Old Testament.
I want to love other people.
I want to forgive and move on.
The first is my favorite! Definitely went with 'gain'. Praise Him for my daughter! I'll gladly gain a few extra pounds to be a mother of two. My first postpartum workout was yesterday. I feel like I got hit by a bus today. But I feel a sense of newness and purpose, which I am thankful for. Maybe this year I'll lose a few pounds...
The second was accomplished! Chris and I finally found a church to call home. Praise Him!
Definitely learned more about the Old Testament this year. Our pastor spent a few months studying the books of Samuel, so that peaked my interest.
As for the last two goals, I HOPE that I accomplished these. I am human, so of course it's a daily battle.
***********************************************************************************
This year, I am thankful for a long list of people and other blessings...
Thankful for my family and several weeks at home to adjust, grow, and snuggle together. Thankful for a safe birth and the blessings of recovery and strength following a C section.
Thankful for my mom and my dad. Over the past several years, I have come to an intense realization: I would not be where I am or be the person that I am if it weren't for them. They are, hands down, the most amazing, beautiful, generous souls that I know. I researched the different types of love and here's what I learned: my parents are a shining example of "AGAPE" love. It means selfless, altruistic love. Sacrificing one's self to help another.
Thankful that I live with and love my best friend in the world. Conversation is not always easy, but honesty flows between us. I am so grateful to be married to someone who forgives easily.
Thankful that my son (and soon, my daughter!) are cared for and loved on by wonderful, godly ladies. Trafton spends time with Miss Angela and his Amma during the week. We know that he is encouraged and protected by both of them. When we drop him off in the morning, these ladies offer the best gift you can give a worried mama: PEACE.
It may sound silly, but thankful for a washing machine and a dishwasher. (I seriously think we run both on a daily basis!) Grateful for a home to call ours, and yard for my furry kids to run in. Thankful for the ability to buy groceries, medicine, and clothes.
Thankful for God's promises- He promises that He will sustain us and carry us through. Thankful for His whispers and soft nudges, and for His direction.
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Night and Day
Bless the Lord, O my soul
O my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before
O my soul
I'll worship Your holy name
I love this Matt Redman song. During my C-section, I recited this song over and over in my brain. And not because I'd heard it recently or because someone had been singing it before me. I felt as if the Lord gave this song to me that morning; He allowed me to concentrate on HIM- not on the scary, painful thing I was going through.
Now, sitting at home next to my daughter, I was just listening to this song. And this is the first time I've ever noticed this part:
The sun comes up, it's a new day dawning
It's time to sing Your song again
Whatever may pass, and whatever lies before me
Let me be singing when the evening comes.
So I'm not exactly a night owl. I can't seem to stay up very late and I definitely don't do well when I'm woken in the middle of the night. Actually, things can get downright nasty when I'm really tired and my ugly shows. Hence, I am not the most pleasant person at 3:00 am, stumbling to get a bottle or change a diaper. But once the sun rises? I'm okay. Once my son starts his morning routine (wake, talk/sing in bed, wrestle with his stuffed dog), I am awake and I don't seem to have near as much trouble dealing with it. Chris has affectionately nicknamed me "Hyde"...think Jekyll and Hyde....yeah. He's not far off.
I heard the lyrics about "a new day dawning" and the first part describes me: once my little family wakes and I have a cup of coffee, I feel ready to face the day and sing His praises. I love the last line, though: Let me be singing when the evening comes. I have to remember that there is a huge purpose behind the 3:00 am wakings, the grumpiness, the dirty diapers, the crying. There is a purpose behind the worry, the loneliness, the hurt, the brokenness, whatever we are feeling. No matter what the "evening" is for us, there is a purpose behind the darkness and it WILL pass. I am to worship Him in spite of all of that, but sometimes it's so hard. I need to sing anytime- day OR night- because I am BLESSED.
O my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before
O my soul
I'll worship Your holy name
I love this Matt Redman song. During my C-section, I recited this song over and over in my brain. And not because I'd heard it recently or because someone had been singing it before me. I felt as if the Lord gave this song to me that morning; He allowed me to concentrate on HIM- not on the scary, painful thing I was going through.
Now, sitting at home next to my daughter, I was just listening to this song. And this is the first time I've ever noticed this part:
The sun comes up, it's a new day dawning
It's time to sing Your song again
Whatever may pass, and whatever lies before me
Let me be singing when the evening comes.
So I'm not exactly a night owl. I can't seem to stay up very late and I definitely don't do well when I'm woken in the middle of the night. Actually, things can get downright nasty when I'm really tired and my ugly shows. Hence, I am not the most pleasant person at 3:00 am, stumbling to get a bottle or change a diaper. But once the sun rises? I'm okay. Once my son starts his morning routine (wake, talk/sing in bed, wrestle with his stuffed dog), I am awake and I don't seem to have near as much trouble dealing with it. Chris has affectionately nicknamed me "Hyde"...think Jekyll and Hyde....yeah. He's not far off.
I heard the lyrics about "a new day dawning" and the first part describes me: once my little family wakes and I have a cup of coffee, I feel ready to face the day and sing His praises. I love the last line, though: Let me be singing when the evening comes. I have to remember that there is a huge purpose behind the 3:00 am wakings, the grumpiness, the dirty diapers, the crying. There is a purpose behind the worry, the loneliness, the hurt, the brokenness, whatever we are feeling. No matter what the "evening" is for us, there is a purpose behind the darkness and it WILL pass. I am to worship Him in spite of all of that, but sometimes it's so hard. I need to sing anytime- day OR night- because I am BLESSED.
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Chamblee
Yesterday, Chamblee was able to meet her great-grandfather in Clemson. Being named after his wife, this was a special moment for our family. Tiger Paw (our nickname for her great-granddaddy) was clearly happy and proud as he held her little frame in his arms. I was a proud mama too- excited that I could give this moment to him. And THRILLED that my daughter gets to carry the name of such a spicy, beautiful soul.
Love Tiger Paw's face here!
After we left his house, we stopped by Mema's gravestone to visit. I snapped a quick picture of Chamblee's namesake, the "C" being for Chamblee.
On the way home, I glanced back at the pics that I had taken. You know what I love? That the date of Mema's death cannot be seen in this picture. I did not touch the flowers there or rearrange at all. Our physical bodies might expire but our souls live on in remarkable ways. Looking at this picture, it felt as if God wanted us to see that her spirit lives on. And it lives on inside of my DAUGHTER!
After we left his house, we stopped by Mema's gravestone to visit. I snapped a quick picture of Chamblee's namesake, the "C" being for Chamblee.
Monday, November 5, 2012
Broken
We are now a family of FOUR! It's been a difficult week, but a beautiful week. Prior to meeting Miss Chamblee, I got my hopes up about a potential "VBAC". (Vaginal Birth after Caesarean, for all the males out there that may read this. My brother is probably cringing now. Ha!)
Chamblee made her way down, or she "dropped" as everyone says, by 38 weeks. I was dilated just a tad, so naturally I started to think maybe I had a chance. With Trafton, I spent 20-something hours in labor, only to discover that my body just would not go further on its own. Trafton had turned his little head, and his stubby nose would not come down the birth canal. I can laugh about it now, but at the time it was devastating and scary to hear that I would go through major surgery (awake, nonetheless!) after laboring for so long.
When I heard that I was dilated with Chamblee, I started to hope. I went for a last-minute check the day before our scheduled surgery. Unfortunately, there was no change or progression. I didn't immediately burst into tears (pat myself on the back!) but I did get in the car and sink. My first thought? "Why am I broken, God?" Nothing seems to work right on me. As a woman, there are certain things that I would like to be able to do; giving birth the natural way is one of them. The whole way home, I threw myself a pity par-tay. I knew there was a good chance that a second Csection would be necessary. But when my body starting progressing on its own, I felt a surge of hope.
When I pulled into the garage, Petey (our adopted pit bull) ran up to me. My first thought was gratitude- thank you, God, for letting this work out and letting us adopt this dog. And the next second? It was as if I heard God whisper, "Your HEART works. And that's what matters." I guess Petey was a nice reminder from the Lord that I do work- I'm not entirely "broken". I'm following my heart and following Him.
Chamblee made her way down, or she "dropped" as everyone says, by 38 weeks. I was dilated just a tad, so naturally I started to think maybe I had a chance. With Trafton, I spent 20-something hours in labor, only to discover that my body just would not go further on its own. Trafton had turned his little head, and his stubby nose would not come down the birth canal. I can laugh about it now, but at the time it was devastating and scary to hear that I would go through major surgery (awake, nonetheless!) after laboring for so long.
When I heard that I was dilated with Chamblee, I started to hope. I went for a last-minute check the day before our scheduled surgery. Unfortunately, there was no change or progression. I didn't immediately burst into tears (pat myself on the back!) but I did get in the car and sink. My first thought? "Why am I broken, God?" Nothing seems to work right on me. As a woman, there are certain things that I would like to be able to do; giving birth the natural way is one of them. The whole way home, I threw myself a pity par-tay. I knew there was a good chance that a second Csection would be necessary. But when my body starting progressing on its own, I felt a surge of hope.
When I pulled into the garage, Petey (our adopted pit bull) ran up to me. My first thought was gratitude- thank you, God, for letting this work out and letting us adopt this dog. And the next second? It was as if I heard God whisper, "Your HEART works. And that's what matters." I guess Petey was a nice reminder from the Lord that I do work- I'm not entirely "broken". I'm following my heart and following Him.
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Family of Four
In less than a week, I will have a daughter. And a husband and a son. What?! I am having a difficult time wrapping my head around that idea. Folks keep asking me if I am ready. Hmm, pretty sure you can look at me and tell I'm ready. I look like I'm about to give birth to a bowling ball. My usual answer? "As ready as can be". I learned the first time around: there is no way to be ready for motherhood. There's no way to prepare for the tortuous night wakings, diaper rash, or milk allergies (let's hope not!). And there's no way to prepare for the indescribable OBSESSION that you instantly feel for your little one, the unconditional admiration that you feel when you look at your family and realize "God has given them to me".
Sure, we have her nursery prepared. Her tiny clothes have been washed (some of them....we still have a generous pile of new outfits, thanks to our precious family and friends!) and we have shopped for essentials. We have a hospital plan and we've arranged for Trafton to be loved on while we are in the hospital. It's a whole different ball game with a toddler in the mix....I remember not wanting to leave the hospital when he was born. "What? You mean I have to go home and the nurses aren't coming with me? I can't just lay in bed and have you wheel the baby in next to me?" This time around, I know I'll be anxious to go home and be with my little man.
I've made long-term substitute plans for school. I've met with parents regarding their children and I've tried to get my ducks in a row. All of the expected preparations have been made. What I did not expect was the feeling of God drawing me close to Him. A friend of mine asked me a couple of weeks ago if I was okay after I spent a few minutes with her. She said I just didn't seem like myself. I had a hard time explaining to her. I feel like I am being drawn inward, like the Lord is focusing me for what's to come. I think he is reminding me that NO ONE can comfort like He can; no one knows when this little one will come except for Him. Clinging to the words of this song from church...
Won't you lead me to the rock
That's high...higher than I
Cause I am not able
To stand on my own
I am not capable
Of living all alone...
My soul finds rest in YOU alone
Cause you are my refuge,
You're my strong tower
Against the enemy
Cause you are greater, greater than He.
Sure, we have her nursery prepared. Her tiny clothes have been washed (some of them....we still have a generous pile of new outfits, thanks to our precious family and friends!) and we have shopped for essentials. We have a hospital plan and we've arranged for Trafton to be loved on while we are in the hospital. It's a whole different ball game with a toddler in the mix....I remember not wanting to leave the hospital when he was born. "What? You mean I have to go home and the nurses aren't coming with me? I can't just lay in bed and have you wheel the baby in next to me?" This time around, I know I'll be anxious to go home and be with my little man.
I've made long-term substitute plans for school. I've met with parents regarding their children and I've tried to get my ducks in a row. All of the expected preparations have been made. What I did not expect was the feeling of God drawing me close to Him. A friend of mine asked me a couple of weeks ago if I was okay after I spent a few minutes with her. She said I just didn't seem like myself. I had a hard time explaining to her. I feel like I am being drawn inward, like the Lord is focusing me for what's to come. I think he is reminding me that NO ONE can comfort like He can; no one knows when this little one will come except for Him. Clinging to the words of this song from church...
Won't you lead me to the rock
That's high...higher than I
Cause I am not able
To stand on my own
I am not capable
Of living all alone...
My soul finds rest in YOU alone
Cause you are my refuge,
You're my strong tower
Against the enemy
Cause you are greater, greater than He.
Thursday, September 20, 2012
Oh Happy Day!
I turned 31 today! That sounds really old. And I have two (almost) kids and a mortgage. I can't believe I'm "in my 30s"...feels weird to say. I've heard folks say that they would do anything to go back to high school (um, vomit?!) or college (nope), but I can honestly say that I am completely content right where I am.
This summer, I found myself walking through our yard in the heat, following a toddler son, dodging dogs, and toting around a robust belly. I had a momentary thought: "Wow, so this is my life....sweaty, pregnant, and working to pay the bills". I remember when I wasn't sure if I wanted kids. And I planned to live in a big city. (I have since learned that I am a country girl at heart.) And I was going to travel, travel, travel! I quickly realized, however, that I am truly happy where I am. Sweaty and pregnant, working hard, and seemingly tired alot of the time....doesn't matter. There's a quote from a Jack Johnson song that sums it up perfectly:
We got everything
We need right here
And everything we need is enough.
Just so easy...when the whole world fits inside of your arms
Don't really need to pay attention to the alarm...
My whole world DOES fit in my arms. Maybe not all at once, but my "world" consists of Chris, T, baby girl, parents, and dogs. I would live in a box with all those things and be okay. I would miss my bed and tv. And my coffee maker. Okay, so it would have to be a big box. And a box with electricity :)
Seriously, what a day full of blessings straight from God. Trafton woke up in a happy mood and invited me to join him in his crib. Why, of course I'd love to haul my huge self over the side of your crib to snuggle. Don't mind if I do. After a few minutes together, I took him to Miss Angela's house, only to discover a homemade "happy birthday" sign on the door from their family and flowers waiting for me inside.
When I got to school, I found out that Debbie had gone above and beyond to celebrate this day with our grade level. After leaving her house at 5:40 am (yes, that early), she went to Krisy Kreme, Bojangles, and even had a coffee ready for me when I walked in to school. That's what I'm talking 'bout :)
Several sweet cards from friends and students, texts and voicemails from special people. And finally, a yummy dinner with some of my very favorite people in the world. I'm so encouraged by the kindness shown to me today; hopefully I can pay it forward.
This summer, I found myself walking through our yard in the heat, following a toddler son, dodging dogs, and toting around a robust belly. I had a momentary thought: "Wow, so this is my life....sweaty, pregnant, and working to pay the bills". I remember when I wasn't sure if I wanted kids. And I planned to live in a big city. (I have since learned that I am a country girl at heart.) And I was going to travel, travel, travel! I quickly realized, however, that I am truly happy where I am. Sweaty and pregnant, working hard, and seemingly tired alot of the time....doesn't matter. There's a quote from a Jack Johnson song that sums it up perfectly:
We got everything
We need right here
And everything we need is enough.
Just so easy...when the whole world fits inside of your arms
Don't really need to pay attention to the alarm...
My whole world DOES fit in my arms. Maybe not all at once, but my "world" consists of Chris, T, baby girl, parents, and dogs. I would live in a box with all those things and be okay. I would miss my bed and tv. And my coffee maker. Okay, so it would have to be a big box. And a box with electricity :)
Seriously, what a day full of blessings straight from God. Trafton woke up in a happy mood and invited me to join him in his crib. Why, of course I'd love to haul my huge self over the side of your crib to snuggle. Don't mind if I do. After a few minutes together, I took him to Miss Angela's house, only to discover a homemade "happy birthday" sign on the door from their family and flowers waiting for me inside.
When I got to school, I found out that Debbie had gone above and beyond to celebrate this day with our grade level. After leaving her house at 5:40 am (yes, that early), she went to Krisy Kreme, Bojangles, and even had a coffee ready for me when I walked in to school. That's what I'm talking 'bout :)
Several sweet cards from friends and students, texts and voicemails from special people. And finally, a yummy dinner with some of my very favorite people in the world. I'm so encouraged by the kindness shown to me today; hopefully I can pay it forward.
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
I haven't had time to write much recently, but today just felt like one of those days. SO much to celebrate- little things and bigger things...
First off, today is a special day. My "FMM" (Fort Mill Mama) turns 25! Um, yes, math folks, I'm kidding about the age. But Debbie's birthday is today and I can't wait to celebrate her. I know that on Sept. 5th, God thought to himself, I need a spunky, kind-hearted, uber-generous lady who is beautiful inside and out. And then he created my assistant.
One of my kindergarten mamas from last year came to visit yesterday. It was so nice to look up and see her happy face in my room! She popped in just to say "hi" and to tell us that she would come help us if she had the time. Nevermind copying and all that mess- I was just glad to see her. I have gotten the sweetest emails and texts from other mamas- just checking in on our family and on baby girl's arrival.
We still don't have a name for the baby that's on the way, speaking of which. Doesn't sound like something to celebrate, but it IS to me. I've always been a control-freak. It's entertaining and abnormal for me to laugh at the fact that I am almost 34 weeks pregnant and I don't even know her name yet. With Trafton, I had prayed for him by name and had every little thing ready. With this sweet baby, I just feel a sense of peace. She WILL come, she WILL be loved by our family, and she WILL be taken care of. Maybe we'll give her a name when we see her precious face.
After the torrential rainstorm last night, a water main broke in Fort Mill. So...no water = day off for us! Only a few days in to the school year, and already we are given the gift of a day off. (Or cursed with a 'make up day', depending on how you look at it.) Personally, I'm glad to be home with my little boy and my big boy. We have stuff to clean and errands to run; I'm happy to do them, as long as I'm with my boys.
Trafton is learning his letters. When we ask him what his name starts with, he shouts out "T!" He also told me that daddy started with D. Granted, those may be the only two letters he knows. But I can live with that. We're still working on saying "please" and "thank you". BUT- he has learned "please" in sign language and he's using it when he asks for something. And imagine my amazement when I went to wipe his nose the other day and he blew. That's right- blew his nose into the tissue! Ahh, the little victories are so sweet. He's a smart cookie (and a darn cute one at that).
Last, but not least, my husband is the man. He met me at the car yesterday with an umbrella when I got home and said he didn't want me running in the rain. Also got home to supper in the crock pot. We have our struggles, but he makes me feel so loved.
Thanking God for this day. :)
First off, today is a special day. My "FMM" (Fort Mill Mama) turns 25! Um, yes, math folks, I'm kidding about the age. But Debbie's birthday is today and I can't wait to celebrate her. I know that on Sept. 5th, God thought to himself, I need a spunky, kind-hearted, uber-generous lady who is beautiful inside and out. And then he created my assistant.
One of my kindergarten mamas from last year came to visit yesterday. It was so nice to look up and see her happy face in my room! She popped in just to say "hi" and to tell us that she would come help us if she had the time. Nevermind copying and all that mess- I was just glad to see her. I have gotten the sweetest emails and texts from other mamas- just checking in on our family and on baby girl's arrival.
We still don't have a name for the baby that's on the way, speaking of which. Doesn't sound like something to celebrate, but it IS to me. I've always been a control-freak. It's entertaining and abnormal for me to laugh at the fact that I am almost 34 weeks pregnant and I don't even know her name yet. With Trafton, I had prayed for him by name and had every little thing ready. With this sweet baby, I just feel a sense of peace. She WILL come, she WILL be loved by our family, and she WILL be taken care of. Maybe we'll give her a name when we see her precious face.
After the torrential rainstorm last night, a water main broke in Fort Mill. So...no water = day off for us! Only a few days in to the school year, and already we are given the gift of a day off. (Or cursed with a 'make up day', depending on how you look at it.) Personally, I'm glad to be home with my little boy and my big boy. We have stuff to clean and errands to run; I'm happy to do them, as long as I'm with my boys.
Trafton is learning his letters. When we ask him what his name starts with, he shouts out "T!" He also told me that daddy started with D. Granted, those may be the only two letters he knows. But I can live with that. We're still working on saying "please" and "thank you". BUT- he has learned "please" in sign language and he's using it when he asks for something. And imagine my amazement when I went to wipe his nose the other day and he blew. That's right- blew his nose into the tissue! Ahh, the little victories are so sweet. He's a smart cookie (and a darn cute one at that).
Last, but not least, my husband is the man. He met me at the car yesterday with an umbrella when I got home and said he didn't want me running in the rain. Also got home to supper in the crock pot. We have our struggles, but he makes me feel so loved.
Thanking God for this day. :)
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