So thankful for precious moments with my family. Lately, I feel like I need to walk around with a video camera or a notebook, recording everything...
Like this morning...it's Crazy Hair Day at school and I'm frantically trying to put my hair into pigtails. Haven't tried that in a while- I need to brush up on my pigtailin' skills before Chamblee gets older. Since I couldn't part the back, I enlisted my husband. At one point, I would've done just about anything for a camera. I was holding one section of hair, Chris' arm was linked through mine and holding another section while he tried to part the back. After that, he tied the big ribbons on each side. That's my man. He anticipated his late arrival to work:
Why are you late, Cranford?
Well, sir, I was helping my wife do her pigtails.
Like when Chamblee smiles her "squinty" smile. Her little mouth turns up and her eyes wrinkle; I can't help but smile back. Or when she talks to me as I work in the kitchen. She sits in her bouncy seat and just goes on and on. (Wonder who she inherited that from?! Hint: not her daddy.) Or when I go upstairs to get her every morning. Grunting and squirming, but she immediately calms when I say "Good morning, Mae Mae". She stills and then smiles. Last night, as I listened to Chris and Trafton in the bathtub, I sat with my daughter on the bed. She would squirm, pass gas, and smile her squinty smile. Ahh, precious memories.
My favorite recent story involves T. and his insatiable desire for tootsie rolls. A bag mysteriously wound up in our pantry (Thanks, Papa.) and everytime he spots them, he cries out "Mama! Toosie roll, peas." Finally, after he asked over and over again one evening, I told him he could have one if he did the tootsie roll dance for me. After a blank stare, I blurted out "Cotton candy, sweet as gold! Let me see you tootsie roll!" And what does my two-year-old son do? He starts shakin' it, of course. So fast-forward a few days and imagine my son in his bed, fussing because he doesn't want to go to sleep for some reason. This is rare for him; Trafton usually goes to bed easily-- plays for a while and then drifts off. For some reason, on this particular night, he just wouldn't let up. I went up to see what was going on. He looked at me, shouted out "Mama! Toosie roll!" and started dancing. Chris just shook his head...."That's YOUR child", he said.
He's silly, but he's sweet. We were playing "Seek" outside the other day after I got home from work. He holds my hand and says "wif me", instructing me to come with him. He leads me to the bushes and tells me where to hide. "I seek"-- he plans to come find me. But first? "Tight hug" and he squeezes me. Takes a few steps away and then runs back. "Tight hug! Again!" I hope he always finds it hard to leave his mama without a few good squeezes.
On Sunday, we were going to visit some precious friends and we came to a standstill on the interstate. Two firetrucks rushed past and then several state troopers. After a few minutes of waiting, I teared up. Before you laugh, let me explain. As we sat there, I was sure that someone was seriously hurt or even dead. I imagined us driving up to the scene and seeing a dead body. Then I thought of the family who would have to deal with it, and that's when the tears started to form. Trafton, always the observant little man, suddenly says "Mama! Better! Better, mama." I smiled weakly at him, then he looks up at Chris and instructs: "Daddy! Help, mommy!" Only 2 years old, and already taking care of his mama. When I was pregnant with him, my prayer was to have a compassionate child. I pray that his heart continues to grow and that he continues to watch over others.
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Thursday, January 10, 2013
Naked
You're blessed when you're content with just who you are- no more, no less. That's the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can't be bought.
(The Message, Matt. 5:4)
I remember, in college, when I asked a newlywed friend of mine about married life. We talked specifically about intimacy and having someone see you without your clothes on. I remember saying "No way! I will never be comfortable enough with another person to let them see me naked." This friend assured me that she used the feel the same, but because of her husband's heart and the covenant that they shared, she was free. She would even walk around the house naked. 'What?!' I thought, 'I will never be able to do that!'
Then you have babies, and all modesty/concerns about your body FLY OUT THE WINDOW. Poor Chris- I'm surprised he hasn't lost his sight after seeing me in certain situations. Puke, poop, blood...nothing seems to rattle him. He helps me without laughing (or by making me laugh, if it's the right situation) and doesn't think twice.
I know another woman who once told me that her husband had never seen her without makeup. I'm sorry....come again?! I must've misheard you. I thought that you said your spouse had never seen you made up. Holy moly. Again, poor Chris. He claims that he likes the way I look without makeup. Put your glasses back on, is what I tell him.
It's funny: we are so critical of ourselves. We dissect the way that we look and how we present ourselves to the outside world. We compare and wonder if we look as nice as the next woman. But reality is this: God watches me walk around "naked". He sees ALL of my flaws and doesn't think twice. Cellulite on my legs, or the flaws of my human heart. It doesn't matter- He still believes that I am worthy. I don't have to paint my face, shave my legs, or straighten my hair. I do these things because they help me feel comfortable, but I know that I am worth more. Make up, hair, clothes do not define me. My flabby skin, my increasing wrinkles and my scars are all reminders; they are reminders of where I have been and all that I have conquered. They are symbols of where God has taken me and what He has brought me through.
(The Message, Matt. 5:4)
I remember, in college, when I asked a newlywed friend of mine about married life. We talked specifically about intimacy and having someone see you without your clothes on. I remember saying "No way! I will never be comfortable enough with another person to let them see me naked." This friend assured me that she used the feel the same, but because of her husband's heart and the covenant that they shared, she was free. She would even walk around the house naked. 'What?!' I thought, 'I will never be able to do that!'
Then you have babies, and all modesty/concerns about your body FLY OUT THE WINDOW. Poor Chris- I'm surprised he hasn't lost his sight after seeing me in certain situations. Puke, poop, blood...nothing seems to rattle him. He helps me without laughing (or by making me laugh, if it's the right situation) and doesn't think twice.
I know another woman who once told me that her husband had never seen her without makeup. I'm sorry....come again?! I must've misheard you. I thought that you said your spouse had never seen you made up. Holy moly. Again, poor Chris. He claims that he likes the way I look without makeup. Put your glasses back on, is what I tell him.
It's funny: we are so critical of ourselves. We dissect the way that we look and how we present ourselves to the outside world. We compare and wonder if we look as nice as the next woman. But reality is this: God watches me walk around "naked". He sees ALL of my flaws and doesn't think twice. Cellulite on my legs, or the flaws of my human heart. It doesn't matter- He still believes that I am worthy. I don't have to paint my face, shave my legs, or straighten my hair. I do these things because they help me feel comfortable, but I know that I am worth more. Make up, hair, clothes do not define me. My flabby skin, my increasing wrinkles and my scars are all reminders; they are reminders of where I have been and all that I have conquered. They are symbols of where God has taken me and what He has brought me through.
Monday, December 24, 2012
Christmas Eve
Best parts of today:
- Realizing that I am stronger than I thought: woke up sicker than yesterday, and I knew Christopher had to go to work. Two kids, a cold, and rainy weather are no fun, but we made it. Watched movies, played games, and snuggled.
- Seeing my son's heart and loving it: I teared up while talking to Chris on the phone. (It's hard enough to be away from your love for 24 hrs; try being sick and being away from him on Christmas Eve. Boo.) Trafton ran over to me and, no kidding, this is what he said: "Hey, Mama! Hey!" (big smile on his face) "Better! Try!" (hands on my face, then gives me a hug).
- Loving the generosity of others: My sweet neighbor stopped by today with cookies that she had made. They were delish and it was so nice to see another smiling (adult) face.
- Walking outside to find stillness and peace: I went to get the mail and it was foggy and quiet outside. Truly, I couldn't hear anything. I thought about Mary and Joseph on their trek to have the baby Jesus. Christmas is different now, as an adult and as a mother. Yes, it's lost some of it's worldly magic (Santa, reindeer, etc.) but it's so deeply meaningful. This is the day that God chose to give us Christ; He let Mary give birth to this little baby who would save us. He gave us Jesus, even though He already knew what heartbreak lay ahead.
In the wake of the Connecticut shootings and now the disaster in New York, I personally believe that some people are missing the point. Gun control, mental health struggles, lack of quality parenting...everyone wants to blame someone or something. Truly, these things need to be addressed. But these are not the root of the problem. I believe that our country needs a shift, or a moral revolution. We need to follow the Lord's example and be willing to sacrifice for others. We need to stop and listen, to feel for direction before we react. Fortunately for us, God gives us Jesus this Christmas. He serves as our shining light in this dark world...
Shine Your light so all can see it
Lift it up, 'cause the whole world needs it
Love has come, what joy to hear it
He has overcome
He has overcome
(David Crowder)
- Realizing that I am stronger than I thought: woke up sicker than yesterday, and I knew Christopher had to go to work. Two kids, a cold, and rainy weather are no fun, but we made it. Watched movies, played games, and snuggled.
- Seeing my son's heart and loving it: I teared up while talking to Chris on the phone. (It's hard enough to be away from your love for 24 hrs; try being sick and being away from him on Christmas Eve. Boo.) Trafton ran over to me and, no kidding, this is what he said: "Hey, Mama! Hey!" (big smile on his face) "Better! Try!" (hands on my face, then gives me a hug).
- Loving the generosity of others: My sweet neighbor stopped by today with cookies that she had made. They were delish and it was so nice to see another smiling (adult) face.
- Walking outside to find stillness and peace: I went to get the mail and it was foggy and quiet outside. Truly, I couldn't hear anything. I thought about Mary and Joseph on their trek to have the baby Jesus. Christmas is different now, as an adult and as a mother. Yes, it's lost some of it's worldly magic (Santa, reindeer, etc.) but it's so deeply meaningful. This is the day that God chose to give us Christ; He let Mary give birth to this little baby who would save us. He gave us Jesus, even though He already knew what heartbreak lay ahead.
In the wake of the Connecticut shootings and now the disaster in New York, I personally believe that some people are missing the point. Gun control, mental health struggles, lack of quality parenting...everyone wants to blame someone or something. Truly, these things need to be addressed. But these are not the root of the problem. I believe that our country needs a shift, or a moral revolution. We need to follow the Lord's example and be willing to sacrifice for others. We need to stop and listen, to feel for direction before we react. Fortunately for us, God gives us Jesus this Christmas. He serves as our shining light in this dark world...
Shine Your light so all can see it
Lift it up, 'cause the whole world needs it
Love has come, what joy to hear it
He has overcome
He has overcome
(David Crowder)
Sunday, December 16, 2012
Random thoughts, part 2
What is it with perfume/cologne commercials?! And it seems to get twice as bad during the holiday season. Am I supposed to desperately wish for a bottle of your perfume because there are half naked, modelesque people in your ad who gaze longingly at one another and/or roll around in ocean waves? Or should I rush out and buy something because Britney Spears experiences a life-changing "vision" with her soul mate on the other side of the hotel wall?? I just can't stand the cheesiness.
You know one thing that I love about the holidays (other than the birth of our savior, fires in the fireplace, and gift-giving)? Food with friends. Wonder who the first person was to ask a friend to share a meal. I ate lunch with a dear one today and it's so good for my spirit. Maternity leave has a way of making you feel trapped and antisocial at times. LOVE my babes, but it's nice to get out once in a while. I remember being excited about a trip to CVS after having Trafton; I actually called a best friend on the way and told her how thrilled I was about making the five-minute trek to the drug store.
Stories that I've heard all my life have taken on a new meaning. Trafton's new favorite book is "Piggies!" or The True Story of the Three Little Pigs. If you haven't read it, it's written by the Wolf. He basically excuses himself from any wrongdoing by explaining that he had a cold and was sneezing (hence, "huff and puff"). He goes on to tell readers that he was making a cake and ran out of sugar (thus, he visited his neighbors, who happen to be pigs). I have read this book many times, but to read it with my son is hilarious. He loves for me to read with different voices for each character, and he has learned the story. He anticipates certain parts, and looks at me expectantly right before one of his favorites. He belly-laughs and squeals. I would read it all day long if he wanted to.
Once again, I am reminded of how old I am :) I have a shopping hangover this morning. Seriously felt like I was back in college last night. My saint of a husband stayed at home with another hubby, while his wife and I went to Christmas shop. Well, except we wound up finding great deals for ourselves. We eventually got around to finishing our holiday shopping. About 11:00, when we finished shopping, we went through the drive through at McDonalds. It felt like I was in college again; when I returned home, I snapped back into mommy-mode as Chamblee needed to be fed at 1:30 am. Spent some quiet time with my girl and finally went to bed at 3:00. This morning came EARLY!
*************************************************************************************
All the randomness aside, I heard of the Connecticut shootings as I drove home from visiting my parents. My first thought? Sickening nausea and a sinking heart for all of those parents. Second thought? If we could afford it, I would keep my babies at home and teach them myself.
So many folks are advocating stricter gun laws and citing that as the reason this happened. Some think that if this young man did not get his hands on a gun, this could have been prevented. Unfortunately, Satan is crafty and this would have transpired despite what our country's laws dictate. Evil is abundant and it is HEART-BREAKING and terrifying. Guns can be completely outlawed and folks will still get their hands on weapons. Drugs are illegal and people still seem to find plenty of them to use. My husband asserts his right to protect our home and our family- through prayer, love, and perhaps owning a gun; the situation in Connecticut makes me agree.
Dear Lord- we ask you to wrap your ginormous arms around all the parents of those sweet slain babies. And pour your love on the families of the teachers who protected their little ones. Give comfort to the first responders who witnessed horrific evil and proceeded bravely nonetheless. Help us all remember that you are SOVEREIGN. These sweet souls are angels- dear ones that help the rest of us realize how precious life is and how we can only depend on You. We love you, God. Amen.
You know one thing that I love about the holidays (other than the birth of our savior, fires in the fireplace, and gift-giving)? Food with friends. Wonder who the first person was to ask a friend to share a meal. I ate lunch with a dear one today and it's so good for my spirit. Maternity leave has a way of making you feel trapped and antisocial at times. LOVE my babes, but it's nice to get out once in a while. I remember being excited about a trip to CVS after having Trafton; I actually called a best friend on the way and told her how thrilled I was about making the five-minute trek to the drug store.
Stories that I've heard all my life have taken on a new meaning. Trafton's new favorite book is "Piggies!" or The True Story of the Three Little Pigs. If you haven't read it, it's written by the Wolf. He basically excuses himself from any wrongdoing by explaining that he had a cold and was sneezing (hence, "huff and puff"). He goes on to tell readers that he was making a cake and ran out of sugar (thus, he visited his neighbors, who happen to be pigs). I have read this book many times, but to read it with my son is hilarious. He loves for me to read with different voices for each character, and he has learned the story. He anticipates certain parts, and looks at me expectantly right before one of his favorites. He belly-laughs and squeals. I would read it all day long if he wanted to.
Once again, I am reminded of how old I am :) I have a shopping hangover this morning. Seriously felt like I was back in college last night. My saint of a husband stayed at home with another hubby, while his wife and I went to Christmas shop. Well, except we wound up finding great deals for ourselves. We eventually got around to finishing our holiday shopping. About 11:00, when we finished shopping, we went through the drive through at McDonalds. It felt like I was in college again; when I returned home, I snapped back into mommy-mode as Chamblee needed to be fed at 1:30 am. Spent some quiet time with my girl and finally went to bed at 3:00. This morning came EARLY!
*************************************************************************************
All the randomness aside, I heard of the Connecticut shootings as I drove home from visiting my parents. My first thought? Sickening nausea and a sinking heart for all of those parents. Second thought? If we could afford it, I would keep my babies at home and teach them myself.
So many folks are advocating stricter gun laws and citing that as the reason this happened. Some think that if this young man did not get his hands on a gun, this could have been prevented. Unfortunately, Satan is crafty and this would have transpired despite what our country's laws dictate. Evil is abundant and it is HEART-BREAKING and terrifying. Guns can be completely outlawed and folks will still get their hands on weapons. Drugs are illegal and people still seem to find plenty of them to use. My husband asserts his right to protect our home and our family- through prayer, love, and perhaps owning a gun; the situation in Connecticut makes me agree.
Dear Lord- we ask you to wrap your ginormous arms around all the parents of those sweet slain babies. And pour your love on the families of the teachers who protected their little ones. Give comfort to the first responders who witnessed horrific evil and proceeded bravely nonetheless. Help us all remember that you are SOVEREIGN. These sweet souls are angels- dear ones that help the rest of us realize how precious life is and how we can only depend on You. We love you, God. Amen.
Monday, December 10, 2012
Random thoughts from today
I have decided that my dream job would be to act on Sesame Street. Not as a puppet, but as one of the real people who live in the cool, brick apartments and hang out with Elmo and Cookie Monster all day. And sing/dance with all the musicians and actors who visit the neighborhood. If you have a young child, you know exactly what I'm referring to. Like that "1, 2, 3, 4 chickens just back from the shore!" jam. Or the episode where 3 of the monsters become robots that transform into shapes, all while two human guys dance in the background. Please tell me that I'm not the only one...
Along those same lines, Chris and I have realized that we are old. Our wild nights consist of jamming to Fresh Beat Band DVDs with our two year old (is it sick that we know all the songs?!) and having a beer in our pajamas (if we don't fall asleep first). Or, instead of going out, we play hide and seek with our son and run laps around the downstairs. He tells us where to hide and then squeals with delight when he "finds" us. Sometimes I get more laughs from watching him than I would from being around other adults.
I love where we live. I grew up in Columbia- not exactly a big city, but also not the country. Growing up, I assumed that we owned "tons" of land. Then I met Christopher. And I visited his mama's house. Holy moly. It's cool that we have shopping and grocery stores galore very nearby, but we also have wild animals roaming around and room for my son to ride. Chris came in today and informed me that there was a dead deer in the backyard. He went on to tell me that Petey was covered in blood, so "don't let him in the house cause I don't wanna clean that up". Um, okay. Ten years ago, I would have cried and freaked out....a DEAD animal? Blood all over my dog?! But, living with a hunter and 3 large dogs, I have quickly learned that animals have instincts and things die. I've also learned to appreciate that my dogs have a fierce desire to protect the line between our home and the rest of the world. If something crosses that line, good luck to it.
Christmas shopping is a different adventure nowadays. With a two year old boy and a fussy infant, going to peruse the aisles at Target is no longer a leisurely activity. Exciting, yes, but not the thrill that I used to get out of finding a cute outfit or the perfect gift for someone. Nope, now it consists of:
1. creating my grocery list to coincide with the aisles at the store. I list my produce first, then canned goods, and milk products last. Is it sad that I know the layout of the store?!
2. grabbing a shirt quickly as I push past it- the clothes that I get to look at are usually on sale and next to the aisle. I'll try it on later. And if I need to return it? No problem. I'll be back in a few days for more diapers or formula :)
3. Keeping my kiddos happy and as quiet as possible. At times, I give up this goal while my son sings, squeals, or talks to every lady in sight.
Finally, having Chamblee has made me appreciate and admire Trafton in a different way. I now see him in a whole new light. He is still my firstborn, my baby. But he's growing up and he is a fabulous big brother. I could hold him and nuzzle his chubby cheeks all day long. But, at the same time, I know that I can ask him to help me around the house. He is talking up a storm, and I feel an even deeper connection with him now that we can communicate verbally. Some of his newest words:
Peas (Please)
Tank Ku (Thank you)
(He knew and used these in sign language before, but now he is saying them.)
Okay
Nah Nacks (Fruit snacks)
All Ton (All done)
Yeyow (Yellow)
Regos (Legos)
The other day, Chamblee was especially fussy and we were loading things up to go run errands. (We have so many bags, coolers, etc. that it looks like going on vacation. While Chris and I were busy running around, she quieted down in her car seat. We looked over, and big brother had given her the paci. He was rocking the car seat and saying "Hey Bebe, Heeeeyyyy!" in his sweet voice. I am one blessed mama.
Along those same lines, Chris and I have realized that we are old. Our wild nights consist of jamming to Fresh Beat Band DVDs with our two year old (is it sick that we know all the songs?!) and having a beer in our pajamas (if we don't fall asleep first). Or, instead of going out, we play hide and seek with our son and run laps around the downstairs. He tells us where to hide and then squeals with delight when he "finds" us. Sometimes I get more laughs from watching him than I would from being around other adults.
I love where we live. I grew up in Columbia- not exactly a big city, but also not the country. Growing up, I assumed that we owned "tons" of land. Then I met Christopher. And I visited his mama's house. Holy moly. It's cool that we have shopping and grocery stores galore very nearby, but we also have wild animals roaming around and room for my son to ride. Chris came in today and informed me that there was a dead deer in the backyard. He went on to tell me that Petey was covered in blood, so "don't let him in the house cause I don't wanna clean that up". Um, okay. Ten years ago, I would have cried and freaked out....a DEAD animal? Blood all over my dog?! But, living with a hunter and 3 large dogs, I have quickly learned that animals have instincts and things die. I've also learned to appreciate that my dogs have a fierce desire to protect the line between our home and the rest of the world. If something crosses that line, good luck to it.
Christmas shopping is a different adventure nowadays. With a two year old boy and a fussy infant, going to peruse the aisles at Target is no longer a leisurely activity. Exciting, yes, but not the thrill that I used to get out of finding a cute outfit or the perfect gift for someone. Nope, now it consists of:
1. creating my grocery list to coincide with the aisles at the store. I list my produce first, then canned goods, and milk products last. Is it sad that I know the layout of the store?!
2. grabbing a shirt quickly as I push past it- the clothes that I get to look at are usually on sale and next to the aisle. I'll try it on later. And if I need to return it? No problem. I'll be back in a few days for more diapers or formula :)
3. Keeping my kiddos happy and as quiet as possible. At times, I give up this goal while my son sings, squeals, or talks to every lady in sight.
Finally, having Chamblee has made me appreciate and admire Trafton in a different way. I now see him in a whole new light. He is still my firstborn, my baby. But he's growing up and he is a fabulous big brother. I could hold him and nuzzle his chubby cheeks all day long. But, at the same time, I know that I can ask him to help me around the house. He is talking up a storm, and I feel an even deeper connection with him now that we can communicate verbally. Some of his newest words:
Peas (Please)
Tank Ku (Thank you)
(He knew and used these in sign language before, but now he is saying them.)
Okay
Nah Nacks (Fruit snacks)
All Ton (All done)
Yeyow (Yellow)
Regos (Legos)
The other day, Chamblee was especially fussy and we were loading things up to go run errands. (We have so many bags, coolers, etc. that it looks like going on vacation. While Chris and I were busy running around, she quieted down in her car seat. We looked over, and big brother had given her the paci. He was rocking the car seat and saying "Hey Bebe, Heeeeyyyy!" in his sweet voice. I am one blessed mama.
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
That time of year
So...it's that time of year again. Everyone is posting what they are thankful for. Soon, we'll start to hear aspirations for the new year. I re-read my post from last year and the hopes I had for 2012:
I want to lose some weight (or gain some weight, depending on what God's plan may be for our family!).
I want to join a church! Chris and I have been searching and we are past ready.
I would like to learn more about the Old Testament.
I want to love other people.
I want to forgive and move on.
The first is my favorite! Definitely went with 'gain'. Praise Him for my daughter! I'll gladly gain a few extra pounds to be a mother of two. My first postpartum workout was yesterday. I feel like I got hit by a bus today. But I feel a sense of newness and purpose, which I am thankful for. Maybe this year I'll lose a few pounds...
The second was accomplished! Chris and I finally found a church to call home. Praise Him!
Definitely learned more about the Old Testament this year. Our pastor spent a few months studying the books of Samuel, so that peaked my interest.
As for the last two goals, I HOPE that I accomplished these. I am human, so of course it's a daily battle.
***********************************************************************************
This year, I am thankful for a long list of people and other blessings...
Thankful for my family and several weeks at home to adjust, grow, and snuggle together. Thankful for a safe birth and the blessings of recovery and strength following a C section.
Thankful for my mom and my dad. Over the past several years, I have come to an intense realization: I would not be where I am or be the person that I am if it weren't for them. They are, hands down, the most amazing, beautiful, generous souls that I know. I researched the different types of love and here's what I learned: my parents are a shining example of "AGAPE" love. It means selfless, altruistic love. Sacrificing one's self to help another.
Thankful that I live with and love my best friend in the world. Conversation is not always easy, but honesty flows between us. I am so grateful to be married to someone who forgives easily.
Thankful that my son (and soon, my daughter!) are cared for and loved on by wonderful, godly ladies. Trafton spends time with Miss Angela and his Amma during the week. We know that he is encouraged and protected by both of them. When we drop him off in the morning, these ladies offer the best gift you can give a worried mama: PEACE.
It may sound silly, but thankful for a washing machine and a dishwasher. (I seriously think we run both on a daily basis!) Grateful for a home to call ours, and yard for my furry kids to run in. Thankful for the ability to buy groceries, medicine, and clothes.
Thankful for God's promises- He promises that He will sustain us and carry us through. Thankful for His whispers and soft nudges, and for His direction.
I want to lose some weight (or gain some weight, depending on what God's plan may be for our family!).
I want to join a church! Chris and I have been searching and we are past ready.
I would like to learn more about the Old Testament.
I want to love other people.
I want to forgive and move on.
The first is my favorite! Definitely went with 'gain'. Praise Him for my daughter! I'll gladly gain a few extra pounds to be a mother of two. My first postpartum workout was yesterday. I feel like I got hit by a bus today. But I feel a sense of newness and purpose, which I am thankful for. Maybe this year I'll lose a few pounds...
The second was accomplished! Chris and I finally found a church to call home. Praise Him!
Definitely learned more about the Old Testament this year. Our pastor spent a few months studying the books of Samuel, so that peaked my interest.
As for the last two goals, I HOPE that I accomplished these. I am human, so of course it's a daily battle.
***********************************************************************************
This year, I am thankful for a long list of people and other blessings...
Thankful for my family and several weeks at home to adjust, grow, and snuggle together. Thankful for a safe birth and the blessings of recovery and strength following a C section.
Thankful for my mom and my dad. Over the past several years, I have come to an intense realization: I would not be where I am or be the person that I am if it weren't for them. They are, hands down, the most amazing, beautiful, generous souls that I know. I researched the different types of love and here's what I learned: my parents are a shining example of "AGAPE" love. It means selfless, altruistic love. Sacrificing one's self to help another.
Thankful that I live with and love my best friend in the world. Conversation is not always easy, but honesty flows between us. I am so grateful to be married to someone who forgives easily.
Thankful that my son (and soon, my daughter!) are cared for and loved on by wonderful, godly ladies. Trafton spends time with Miss Angela and his Amma during the week. We know that he is encouraged and protected by both of them. When we drop him off in the morning, these ladies offer the best gift you can give a worried mama: PEACE.
It may sound silly, but thankful for a washing machine and a dishwasher. (I seriously think we run both on a daily basis!) Grateful for a home to call ours, and yard for my furry kids to run in. Thankful for the ability to buy groceries, medicine, and clothes.
Thankful for God's promises- He promises that He will sustain us and carry us through. Thankful for His whispers and soft nudges, and for His direction.
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Night and Day
Bless the Lord, O my soul
O my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before
O my soul
I'll worship Your holy name
I love this Matt Redman song. During my C-section, I recited this song over and over in my brain. And not because I'd heard it recently or because someone had been singing it before me. I felt as if the Lord gave this song to me that morning; He allowed me to concentrate on HIM- not on the scary, painful thing I was going through.
Now, sitting at home next to my daughter, I was just listening to this song. And this is the first time I've ever noticed this part:
The sun comes up, it's a new day dawning
It's time to sing Your song again
Whatever may pass, and whatever lies before me
Let me be singing when the evening comes.
So I'm not exactly a night owl. I can't seem to stay up very late and I definitely don't do well when I'm woken in the middle of the night. Actually, things can get downright nasty when I'm really tired and my ugly shows. Hence, I am not the most pleasant person at 3:00 am, stumbling to get a bottle or change a diaper. But once the sun rises? I'm okay. Once my son starts his morning routine (wake, talk/sing in bed, wrestle with his stuffed dog), I am awake and I don't seem to have near as much trouble dealing with it. Chris has affectionately nicknamed me "Hyde"...think Jekyll and Hyde....yeah. He's not far off.
I heard the lyrics about "a new day dawning" and the first part describes me: once my little family wakes and I have a cup of coffee, I feel ready to face the day and sing His praises. I love the last line, though: Let me be singing when the evening comes. I have to remember that there is a huge purpose behind the 3:00 am wakings, the grumpiness, the dirty diapers, the crying. There is a purpose behind the worry, the loneliness, the hurt, the brokenness, whatever we are feeling. No matter what the "evening" is for us, there is a purpose behind the darkness and it WILL pass. I am to worship Him in spite of all of that, but sometimes it's so hard. I need to sing anytime- day OR night- because I am BLESSED.
O my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before
O my soul
I'll worship Your holy name
I love this Matt Redman song. During my C-section, I recited this song over and over in my brain. And not because I'd heard it recently or because someone had been singing it before me. I felt as if the Lord gave this song to me that morning; He allowed me to concentrate on HIM- not on the scary, painful thing I was going through.
Now, sitting at home next to my daughter, I was just listening to this song. And this is the first time I've ever noticed this part:
The sun comes up, it's a new day dawning
It's time to sing Your song again
Whatever may pass, and whatever lies before me
Let me be singing when the evening comes.
So I'm not exactly a night owl. I can't seem to stay up very late and I definitely don't do well when I'm woken in the middle of the night. Actually, things can get downright nasty when I'm really tired and my ugly shows. Hence, I am not the most pleasant person at 3:00 am, stumbling to get a bottle or change a diaper. But once the sun rises? I'm okay. Once my son starts his morning routine (wake, talk/sing in bed, wrestle with his stuffed dog), I am awake and I don't seem to have near as much trouble dealing with it. Chris has affectionately nicknamed me "Hyde"...think Jekyll and Hyde....yeah. He's not far off.
I heard the lyrics about "a new day dawning" and the first part describes me: once my little family wakes and I have a cup of coffee, I feel ready to face the day and sing His praises. I love the last line, though: Let me be singing when the evening comes. I have to remember that there is a huge purpose behind the 3:00 am wakings, the grumpiness, the dirty diapers, the crying. There is a purpose behind the worry, the loneliness, the hurt, the brokenness, whatever we are feeling. No matter what the "evening" is for us, there is a purpose behind the darkness and it WILL pass. I am to worship Him in spite of all of that, but sometimes it's so hard. I need to sing anytime- day OR night- because I am BLESSED.
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