Changing

Come gather 'round people
Wherever you roam
And admit that the waters
Around you have grown
And accept it that soon
You'll be drenched to the bone
If your time to you
Is worth savin'
Then you better start swimmin'
Or you'll sink like a stone
For the times they are a-changin'.
                           (Bob Dylan)

I love those moments when your world sort of freezes for a second; you have some sort of epiphany and you realize that your thinking may not ever be the same. Today it hit me: I have "transitioned". I wanted to write that I am OLD, but I honestly don't believe that. I'd rather go with "experienced" or "wise" (insert loud laughter).

Today, as I sat in the doctor's office, I glanced through a magazine and sent some text messages. As I reached to put my phone back into my purse, I paused. Is that? Could it be? No way! YES- a dried booger. ON MY PURSE. I wasn't sure what to do: laugh, be mortified, or both. I wondered how long it had been there. I can tell you exactly how it happened. My stinker of a son walked by my purse, which I hang on the kitchen barstool, and decided that it was the perfect place to wipe his recently snotty nose. I had to smile; I was "that mom". Ready for the sick part? I didn't even mind it being there. It was a nice reminder of my child. Ten years ago, if I emptied my purse, you'd find my phone, a calendar, wallet, gum, and other girly odds and ends. Now?? Still these essentials, along with crunched-up cheerios, used tissues, possibly a sippy cup, and let's not forget the hospital bracelets that were snipped from my 2nd child's birth. (Yes, I realize that these should be somewhere sacred....it's funny how different your experience proves to be with the second child.)

Next, I sped across the street to get groceries while I had grandma at home to watch the littles. Loaded my cart up with formula and other snacks, then went to the checkout line. In front of me? A 20-something young woman in tall heels, a tight skirt, perfect hair. And what was she buying? Well, as I loaded my cans of formula and green beans onto the conveyor belt, she easily handed the cashier two bottles of white wine....and that's all. I was tempted to barter with her...hey, I'll trade you a can of puffs for a swig of that wine! Or maybe a jar of JIF for a teeny sip? As I left the store, I walked behind her and watched several men stare after her. (It was actually me that they were staring at, but I let her enjoy the moment. Ha!) I found myself smiling and thanking God for my life. That was literally me ten years ago (minus the skinny legs)...single, heels on my feet, and ready to have a good time. I called Chris and told him that I felt like I'd just watched myself walk out of the store.

I have gone from a single and free young woman to a married and free young mother. Yes, I have experienced freedom in both of these life stages, but in such different forms. Ten years ago, I was graduating college, staying out all night, and doing who-knows-what. I was free to roam and free of commitments. No job, no ring on my finger, and no little ones to watch over. Now, I enjoy a deeper freedom. I am free to mess up (royally, at times!) because I know that my family and my God will forgive me. I know that I am living in the midst of this beautiful plan that God created; I am free to be myself because I finally know exactly who I am.