Family, friends, food, frustrations. The holidays are a time of celebration and being BUSY. It's nice to just be, to sit and count your blessings. To reflect on family traditions. Here are some of ours:
- Driving to see family. Each year, I think "ugh, next year I am NOT driving". But 364 days later, the car is packed, I am frazzled, and we are on the road.
- Eating. And eating. And eating. Annnnnd EATING. Enjoying every tasty bite and feeling somewhat guilty after grazing all day. Our family tradition seems to be eat "one" big Thanksgiving meal, then pick at the leftovers for the next several days.
- Counting down the days until the big game (i.e. Carolina versus Clemson, for all you non-Southerners). Every year, I tell myself that I am not going to stress over the game and I'll be happy with whoever wins. And every year, I realize how ridiculous this is. I am a Gamecock- born and raised in Columbia and having gone to USC. I try to keep myself busy and distracted every year during the game (note the time I am typing this...) but I find myself- stomach clenched, yelling at the television- once again.
- Laughing with my brother, Dave. NO ONE on Earth makes me laugh harder than him; If I could shrink him and carry him around in my purse wherever I go, I would do it, just so I could smile each day. Alot of his humor involves our past together: places we've been, "accidents" we've had (see below), or movies that bring back memories. Last night, we discovered Pee Wee's Big Adventure on tv. Much to my husband's disappointment, we decided to watch it. He was so annoyed as the movie progressed; Dave and I were so entertained. We recited almost all the lines together, as Chris kept himself busy and prayed for the remote :)
- The holidays also remind me of certain memories, like the time that we set the trash can on fire on Christmas morning. Yes, you read that right. Dave and I were playing outside with a neighborhood friend and we decided that it would be fun to light a firecracker and throw it into the big green, PLASTIC trash can outside my parents' home. Well, you can guess what happened. Suddenly, big orange flames were pouring out of the can. Our neighborhood buddy ran home and Dave sent me inside to get Bubba- our youngest uncle who would probably have concocted this ingenius plan had he not been stuck at the "grown up table" eating. Bubba slyly escaped the dining room and came to the rescue....with a garden hose and a cooler. As he instructed us to fill the cooler with water, he stood with his hand on the garbage can top and tried to contain the fire. I'll never forget looking up and seeing a woman jogging by. Bubba wished her a Merry Christmas and waved as flames and smoke poured out of the trash. Ahhh, memories.
- One holiday tradition that I do not enjoy: leaving my parents. I love to come home, see our doggies, and get settled once again. But leaving my mom and my daddy? It is like torture. They walk us out to the car, help us load up, and wave goodbye. My heart actually hurts as we drive away. (This is actually an improvement. I used to cry every time we'd drive away. Now, I can USUALLY hold back the tears.) This Thanksgiving, I am beyond thankful for them. They play so many roles: Mentor, Counselor, Friend. They are the best parents and even more amazing as Grands. I pray that Chris and I show Trafton just a fraction of the wisdom and patience that they have shown me as parents.
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Monday, November 21, 2011
Walk On
Well, my son has a girlfriend. And she's an older woman.
Today when I picked Trafton up from his sitter's, she told me that she had something to tell me. Uh oh. Not something a mommy wants to hear- especially about their feisty-usually sweet-but sometimes stubbon son. She continued: "He broke my heart today." Grrrrrreat. Already breaking hearts.
But then I learned what she really meant: Apparently, she was holding another little one and T. was across the room. Now I have to preface this by saying that my sweet boy has only taken 5 or so steps at once. He found his motivation to really move today. When he looked up from his snack, he saw Miss Angela holding another little boy. And that would just not do.
He immediately left his "Puffs" (which is a miracle in itself...my boy does not pass up snacks) and WALKED ACROSS THE ROOM to her. He tried to climb in her lap and take the place of the other little baby. Ha! Jealous much?! Relieved that my son hadn't really done something horrible and thrilled that my son had taken so many steps at once, I suddenly realized that he really loved this woman. And that is okay with me. Actually, it's more than okay.
He loves Miss Angela so much that he was willing to leave a snack and WALK to her. In his mind, Miss Angela is his friend, his love, his protector. He's not ready to share her, and I don't blame him. You know that good old 1 Corinthians definition of love? "Love is patient, Love is kind..." This is the type of love that she shows others.
Almost every day that I pick him up, I arrive at her home to find not only Angela, but also her two sweet daughters....all focused on my little boy. 3 sweet souls all loving on him- he can't get enough. And I can't get enough- this family is amazing! As a new mom, I was nervous about leaving him in the hands of someone that I barely knew. Little did I know, God had orchestrated and arranged everything. He knew that this family would touch ours; He knew that they would offer Trafton's parents an amazing and inexplicable comfort. We have not known this family long, but I feel a closeness with this woman. When I leave him in her arms, I know that my son will be loved. And obviously- he knows he is loved as well.
When I left her home today, I realized that her affection for him MOTIVATED him to move. Not only that, but my son trusts this woman. He knows that she will be there when he crosses the room and falls into her. What motivates us, as adults, to move? Hopefully, the Father's love for us. He motivates me to walk toward him and depend on Him when I feel uneasy and nervous. He motivates me to take risks and do things that I cannot do alone. He will be there when I come and fall into Him.
Today when I picked Trafton up from his sitter's, she told me that she had something to tell me. Uh oh. Not something a mommy wants to hear- especially about their feisty-usually sweet-but sometimes stubbon son. She continued: "He broke my heart today." Grrrrrreat. Already breaking hearts.
But then I learned what she really meant: Apparently, she was holding another little one and T. was across the room. Now I have to preface this by saying that my sweet boy has only taken 5 or so steps at once. He found his motivation to really move today. When he looked up from his snack, he saw Miss Angela holding another little boy. And that would just not do.
He immediately left his "Puffs" (which is a miracle in itself...my boy does not pass up snacks) and WALKED ACROSS THE ROOM to her. He tried to climb in her lap and take the place of the other little baby. Ha! Jealous much?! Relieved that my son hadn't really done something horrible and thrilled that my son had taken so many steps at once, I suddenly realized that he really loved this woman. And that is okay with me. Actually, it's more than okay.
He loves Miss Angela so much that he was willing to leave a snack and WALK to her. In his mind, Miss Angela is his friend, his love, his protector. He's not ready to share her, and I don't blame him. You know that good old 1 Corinthians definition of love? "Love is patient, Love is kind..." This is the type of love that she shows others.
Almost every day that I pick him up, I arrive at her home to find not only Angela, but also her two sweet daughters....all focused on my little boy. 3 sweet souls all loving on him- he can't get enough. And I can't get enough- this family is amazing! As a new mom, I was nervous about leaving him in the hands of someone that I barely knew. Little did I know, God had orchestrated and arranged everything. He knew that this family would touch ours; He knew that they would offer Trafton's parents an amazing and inexplicable comfort. We have not known this family long, but I feel a closeness with this woman. When I leave him in her arms, I know that my son will be loved. And obviously- he knows he is loved as well.
When I left her home today, I realized that her affection for him MOTIVATED him to move. Not only that, but my son trusts this woman. He knows that she will be there when he crosses the room and falls into her. What motivates us, as adults, to move? Hopefully, the Father's love for us. He motivates me to walk toward him and depend on Him when I feel uneasy and nervous. He motivates me to take risks and do things that I cannot do alone. He will be there when I come and fall into Him.
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Do Not Be Afraid
I have always been a pleaser. The level of people-pleasing has fluctuated over the years, but I always seem to want to make others happy. Even if it means I have to change my mind or worse, change myelf, to do so.
Fortunately, He issues us a challenge in the book of Deuteronomy:
Do not be afraid of any man, for judgement belongs to God. (1:17)
God obviously thinks that each of us are pretty special...why else would he have sent Jesus to take our place on the cross? Why would he continue to let the Holy Spirit come into the lives of perpetual sinners? He loves us dearly and considers us his children. Pretty lucky for us, huh?
So, if the creator of the universe thinks I am worthy of His love, why can't I believe in myself and trust myself sometimes??
First reason: I am a woman. I think that most of us, as females, thrive on friendship and approval of our "sisters". Heck, it's not just my sisters and friends who I seek approval from. It's neighbors, coworkers, bosses, classroom parents, people I have just met. I think my husband also likes for folks to enjoy his company, but when you really get down to the nitty gritty? He will take care of our family and does not really care what others think. (Which I love about him, by the way.)
Second reason that I seek the approval of others so often: I hate to see people hurt. Especially when it's a result of something I have done or said. I might complain to Chris about someone, but the minute I hurt their feelings or do something that displeases them, I doubt myself and my own judgement. When I begin to compromise myself and my beliefs to please someone else? That's something that God does not approve of. That is something that my weak, human heart causes.
Ironically, as I'm typing this, I am watching/listening to The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. (I know, I know....don't judge.) One of the characters is going through crazy sad stuff in her personal life, and another character on the show is gossiping about her and talking smack around town. The first character just cried to the other one and explained: "I have bent over backwards to try to be your friend." What does God tell us to do when we're not friends with someone? Or when we realize we would have to change ourselves to please others? It is clear:
DO NOT BE AFRAID OF ANY MAN, FOR JUDGEMENT BELONGS TO GOD.
Who should I be trying to please? Him, and Him alone.
Fortunately, He issues us a challenge in the book of Deuteronomy:
Do not be afraid of any man, for judgement belongs to God. (1:17)
God obviously thinks that each of us are pretty special...why else would he have sent Jesus to take our place on the cross? Why would he continue to let the Holy Spirit come into the lives of perpetual sinners? He loves us dearly and considers us his children. Pretty lucky for us, huh?
So, if the creator of the universe thinks I am worthy of His love, why can't I believe in myself and trust myself sometimes??
First reason: I am a woman. I think that most of us, as females, thrive on friendship and approval of our "sisters". Heck, it's not just my sisters and friends who I seek approval from. It's neighbors, coworkers, bosses, classroom parents, people I have just met. I think my husband also likes for folks to enjoy his company, but when you really get down to the nitty gritty? He will take care of our family and does not really care what others think. (Which I love about him, by the way.)
Second reason that I seek the approval of others so often: I hate to see people hurt. Especially when it's a result of something I have done or said. I might complain to Chris about someone, but the minute I hurt their feelings or do something that displeases them, I doubt myself and my own judgement. When I begin to compromise myself and my beliefs to please someone else? That's something that God does not approve of. That is something that my weak, human heart causes.
Ironically, as I'm typing this, I am watching/listening to The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. (I know, I know....don't judge.) One of the characters is going through crazy sad stuff in her personal life, and another character on the show is gossiping about her and talking smack around town. The first character just cried to the other one and explained: "I have bent over backwards to try to be your friend." What does God tell us to do when we're not friends with someone? Or when we realize we would have to change ourselves to please others? It is clear:
DO NOT BE AFRAID OF ANY MAN, FOR JUDGEMENT BELONGS TO GOD.
Who should I be trying to please? Him, and Him alone.
Thursday, November 17, 2011
"Thankful for my fishies"
I wasn't planning on writing tonight. Don't want to wear out my welcome in the blogging world too quickly. BUT, I was so proud of my sweet kindergarten students today and I wanted to share.
Next week, we will have a classroom "Family Feast" with students and their parents. In the past, I suppose I've had a slight case of parent-phobia. Some made me nervous and some frustrated me. This year, however, I am truly excited about spending this meal with my kids and their parents. Funny how the Lord changes your heart and your perspective after you have a child of your own :)
Anyway, as a special pre-meal presentation, my students will present a turkey that they have made. On each feather, they wrote something that they are thankful for. We encouraged them to think hard about the things or the people that they would not want to live without. I thought for sure one of them would write 'my playstation' or 'my trampoline'. Well, they showed me.
Almost every child said something about mom, dad, or 'my family'. Some were thankful for their teachers (I did NOT even tear up, thank you very much!) or for their bed (Amen!).
I got to my sweet Bradyn and asked him what he was thankful for. Number One? GOD. (Smart boy.) Number Two? That God makes us alive. (Seriously??) Number Three? My mom. Number Four? My dad.
Alani, another friend at his table, shared with me next. Number One? MY FISHIES. I had to keep a straight face and nod, but inside I was cracking up. For the remaining items, she told me things like her family and her teachers. But I just couldn't get past "I am thankful for my fishies". At first, I found it hilarious. Then I started thinking....maybe these kids are on to something...
To be thankful for such a tiny creature and to mention it as your number one? So kind and thoughtful. Maybe more of us should think about the tiny fishies in our lives. Obviously, I don't mean literal fish. I'm thinking more along the lines of every little thing that God gives us: food to eat, water when we are thirsty, a clean potty to use, warm socks on our feet. These things are little to us, but would be huge to the less fortunate.
He lets us wake up each morning and breathe. He knows where we have been and where we are going. He is a constant, there when I need Him. For THAT, I am thankful.
Next week, we will have a classroom "Family Feast" with students and their parents. In the past, I suppose I've had a slight case of parent-phobia. Some made me nervous and some frustrated me. This year, however, I am truly excited about spending this meal with my kids and their parents. Funny how the Lord changes your heart and your perspective after you have a child of your own :)
Anyway, as a special pre-meal presentation, my students will present a turkey that they have made. On each feather, they wrote something that they are thankful for. We encouraged them to think hard about the things or the people that they would not want to live without. I thought for sure one of them would write 'my playstation' or 'my trampoline'. Well, they showed me.
Almost every child said something about mom, dad, or 'my family'. Some were thankful for their teachers (I did NOT even tear up, thank you very much!) or for their bed (Amen!).
I got to my sweet Bradyn and asked him what he was thankful for. Number One? GOD. (Smart boy.) Number Two? That God makes us alive. (Seriously??) Number Three? My mom. Number Four? My dad.
Alani, another friend at his table, shared with me next. Number One? MY FISHIES. I had to keep a straight face and nod, but inside I was cracking up. For the remaining items, she told me things like her family and her teachers. But I just couldn't get past "I am thankful for my fishies". At first, I found it hilarious. Then I started thinking....maybe these kids are on to something...
To be thankful for such a tiny creature and to mention it as your number one? So kind and thoughtful. Maybe more of us should think about the tiny fishies in our lives. Obviously, I don't mean literal fish. I'm thinking more along the lines of every little thing that God gives us: food to eat, water when we are thirsty, a clean potty to use, warm socks on our feet. These things are little to us, but would be huge to the less fortunate.
He lets us wake up each morning and breathe. He knows where we have been and where we are going. He is a constant, there when I need Him. For THAT, I am thankful.
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Did you hear???
One of my dear friends just officially announced that she is pregnant. She is nearly 12 weeks, and I think it has been harder for ME to hold in this wonderful secret than it has been for her! I learned that she is expecting a while ago, and tears came to my eyes. What a gift! God chooses to give you this human, this LIVING, BREATHING, PRECIOUS gift. He chooses you to grow it, feed it, and introduce it to the world. He chooses you to teach it, love it unconditionally (which is not always easy). He chooses you to share your faith with this child; to tell your precious child about the ONE being that truly accepts us for who we are. He chooses you, despite all your flaws and all of your past. Motherhood is an honor and the biggest blessing I have ever experienced.
Some days, I feel accomplished. I can get up early and exercise; I can clean our home and put dinner in the crock pot. I can spend all of my "free time" with my son. I feel as if I am teaching him and truly raising him. Other days, I am a failure. I can't seem to accomplish anything I have planned. I don't get home early enough and I only have a fraction of time with my child. I don't work out. I am fat. I am disorganized. I am nasty to others. But then my God makes me pause. He stills me and He quiets me; He reminds me that life is all about seasons and struggles. We grow and glorify Him through our struggles. If I feel like a failure one day, I wake up the following morning and He has redeemed me. What a glorious blessing.
I look at my son and I am awestruck that God has let me become a mother.Don't get me wrong: I adore my husband and being his wife. But being a mommy? A totally different, jaw-dropping experience thus far. And it will only get better with each passing day.
Some days, I feel accomplished. I can get up early and exercise; I can clean our home and put dinner in the crock pot. I can spend all of my "free time" with my son. I feel as if I am teaching him and truly raising him. Other days, I am a failure. I can't seem to accomplish anything I have planned. I don't get home early enough and I only have a fraction of time with my child. I don't work out. I am fat. I am disorganized. I am nasty to others. But then my God makes me pause. He stills me and He quiets me; He reminds me that life is all about seasons and struggles. We grow and glorify Him through our struggles. If I feel like a failure one day, I wake up the following morning and He has redeemed me. What a glorious blessing.
I look at my son and I am awestruck that God has let me become a mother.Don't get me wrong: I adore my husband and being his wife. But being a mommy? A totally different, jaw-dropping experience thus far. And it will only get better with each passing day.
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Micah 6:8
I have been searching forever. I have tried food, clothes, friendships, relationships, busyness, fitness...you name it. ANYTHING and everything to find my worth. To find my 'calling' and meaning in life. I finally realized two years ago that God may not give us that "aha!" moment when we realize what we are supposed to be when we grow up. As cliche as it may sound, He gently guides us and grows us until we realize that we are His alone and that we are to simply ACT JUSTLY, LOVE MERCY, and WALK HUMBLY with Him. (Micah 6:8)
I read this verse and suddenly realized that I don't have to be perfect at anything, or be incredibly talented in any certain area. Instead, He has simply asked that I love Him, accept and celebrate Jesus and what He did for us, and love other people (no matter how frustrating, mean, or annoying they may be sometimes). This is my calling, or my purpose.
The simplicity AND the complexity of this challenge struck me: I am called to love others. Easy right? Wait....I am called to REALLY love others. Yikes. That means forgiving when I've been wronged. It means smiling at people that I don't care for. It means acknowledging my wrongdoing in certain situations, instead of blaming others. It means putting others above myself. I am called to celebrate other people's victories and success stories, instead of bragging about my own. He asks me to give to those in need, give of my heart and my time. He wants me to look past outward appearances. He wants me to share the gospel truth with everyone I come into contact with, by acting, loving, and walking humbly.
Phew. I have a long way to go.
I read this verse and suddenly realized that I don't have to be perfect at anything, or be incredibly talented in any certain area. Instead, He has simply asked that I love Him, accept and celebrate Jesus and what He did for us, and love other people (no matter how frustrating, mean, or annoying they may be sometimes). This is my calling, or my purpose.
The simplicity AND the complexity of this challenge struck me: I am called to love others. Easy right? Wait....I am called to REALLY love others. Yikes. That means forgiving when I've been wronged. It means smiling at people that I don't care for. It means acknowledging my wrongdoing in certain situations, instead of blaming others. It means putting others above myself. I am called to celebrate other people's victories and success stories, instead of bragging about my own. He asks me to give to those in need, give of my heart and my time. He wants me to look past outward appearances. He wants me to share the gospel truth with everyone I come into contact with, by acting, loving, and walking humbly.
Phew. I have a long way to go.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)