Goodbyes

I know that sounds like the cheesiest title ever, but I've been thinking about saying goodbye to certain people in my life recently. I know that alot of folks don't say goodbye. Instead, they choose to say 'see ya later'. But the fact remains: situations and circumstances change, and sometimes I find myself wondering why God's plan has to involve putting extra space between me and the ones I love.

One of my dearest friends is leaving Fort Mill and moving because she got a teaching job in her hometown. She is from Columbia like me, but ironically we did not meet until we were both teaching up here. Over the past two years, she has become like a sister to me. I swear I think we share a brain. She is one of those friends that I feel like I don't have to explain things, or (even better!) she will finish my sentence for me. Agreeing on something, venting about things, celebrating or crying over things can really forge a bond between two people. I feel like she and I have done alot of this over the past couple of years. One morning, a few weeks ago, I got to school and had an email from my friend: Are you in your room?  (Non-teachers, you may laugh at the fact that we work in the same building and yet we email each other before visiting...if you walked those halls twenty times a day, you would do it too!)

Anyway, I read her email and immediately felt something in the pit of my stomach. My first thought was 'uh-oh'. My classroom is at the opposite end of the school, away from the parking lot. My friend's room is on my way out the door. Therefore, I am usually the one visiting/stalking her. When she asked me about visiting, I just knew something was up. When she told me the news- that she would be leaving- I can honestly say that I felt joy for her. I know that she is anxious to feel settled somewhere and I think her heart has been pulling her towards home. After the short joyful celebration in my head, the sad panic settled in my heart. I think I sobbed in the hallway while blubbering, "I really AM happy for you!" It's difficult to imagine my life- both professional and personal- without this person being a few minutes away. We may not talk each day, but I feel such a connection, such a sisterhood, with this woman that it breaks my heart to say goodbye. But this is a time when God asks us to put the selfishness aside and remember that HIS plan is most important.

Along with saying goodbye to people, I hate to say goodbye to situations or things that make me happy. This school year is coming to a close in a few weeks, and it makes my heart heavy. Dont get me wrong: I am so excited about the summer. But what a year! To watch kindergarten students grow and change has been wonderful. More than that, I feel so supported and loved by so many of the parents. I hate to say goodbye to those relationships, but I know God will allow more to form in next year's classroom. I know that He will bless some 1st grade teachers with amazing parents and kids.

So, here's the part that makes the tears come. The end of the school year marks the end of my favorite year of teaching. After 8 years, I can truly say this has been the best for a variety of reasons. I have been waiting to teach kindergarten, so obviously the switch was exciting, new, and gratifying. More than that, I was given a year with the most dedicated, funny, slightly crazy woman that I know. Debbie has truly become my Fort Mill mama. She jokes that I am the daughter she never had, but in truth, our relationship does not feel far from that. I have known her for years, but this year has allowed us to form a bond, a partnership that has made me a better teacher and a better person.

Being in a room with another adult all day seemed intimidating at first. I wondered what she would think of my teaching style or how I talked to the kids. I also wondered how open I could be if I was celebrating something or having a hard day. Turns out, God gave me an angel with open arms. Y'all, I'm telling you- this woman never judges me. I have confessed things to her, shared stories with her, cried about things, and laughed until breathless with her. We've even sang/danced 'Chicka Chicka Boom Boom' together for the kids. She's planning to move in with my rainbow family in a few years. (Chris doesn't know this yet, but I don't think he'll mind.)

Makes me think of Ecclesiastes 3:

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:

a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
 a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace.

It is so difficult to trust God's timing, but He knows what He's doing.
May everything work out for HIS glory.