Legacy

I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love?
Did I point to You enough
To make a mark on things?
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace
Who blessed Your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy
       (Nicole Nordeman)

On March 19th, three years ago, we said goodbye to my father-in-law. Reginald Trafton Cranford was a funny, faithful man. And he was a hero to my husband. I love that our son bears the name of BOTH of his grandaddies: DAVID for my dad and TRAFTON for Chris' daddy. Being named after these two awards him a remarkable responsibility: carrying out a legacy for both men.

I know that Chris misses his daddy terribly. There are times when Trafton will do something and we'll both comment on how we wish that Reg could see him. Trafton is funny, loving, and incredibly stubborn....those traits did not arrive out of nowhere. He inherited those from his daddy and grandpa! (Maybe mama too??)

My little boy is also not afraid to get dirty and he loves to be outside.Chris grew up farming; he tells me that he's been driving a tractor since he was in elementary school. I like to imagine him as a little boy. Rambuncous but respectful; silly but hardworking. Reg allowed them to be boys, but he also made Chris and his 2 brothers tow the line. Saturdays were for work; the boys were expected to pitch in and not complain about it. Adults were respected and help was given when needed. This has followed Chris into adulthood. The man can whip up a piece of furniture if he wants to....seriously. Right now, we have a huge entertainment stand being built in our garage. He built our son's crib. And I have to say, they are nearly perfectly. He doesn't skimp on the details. Reg instilled knowledge in his sons- knowledge of how to build houses and how to make a home. He taught them things that I will never know. (I'm still amazed when we drive down highways and backroads. Chris can name every crop that is planted while we're passing them, just by glancing out the window.)

At times, I complain that it takes him forever to finish certain projects, but he will get it done. And the reason it takes him time to finish things? He works 4 different jobs:  firefighter, construction/carpenter/electrician/mechanic, daddy, and husband. When I ask for his time, I get it. When I want his attention, I get it. Same goes for our son. He is attentive and loving with our child. He is dedicated to our family, and we've even had outsiders comment on his commitment. He came along to every single doctor's appointment when I was pregnant with T. Stayed in the room for exams and everything...now THAT is love. Specially when there are tears flowing (mine and my midwife's) and uncomfortable questions are being asked. That man takes it like a champ and jumps in on the conversation.

Reg, Joy, and their 3 boys went to church virtually every Sunday. Christopher remembers being on vacation and asking his daddy if they could skip church. When told no, Chris continued, "But dad! We're on vacation!" Reg's response? "God doesn't take a vacation. So neither do we." I love my husband's faith. It's long-standing and firm. He prays about things and gets our family to church to worship.

Most of all, Reg raised a remarkably LOYAL son in Christopher. Of course, I think all three brothers are wonderful. But I get to see and live inside of Chris' world each day. At our rehersal dinner, I spoke about his loyalty using an example from our early dating days. When I met Chris, I was on a rollercoaster. Didn't quite know who I was. I had the basics down (knew God, had a job, loved my family) but I was still searching for contentment with myself. Without getting into too many details, we'll just say I was a hot mess.

Early in our relationship, Chris came over one afternoon to find me upset and frazzled. I told him that I had some issues going on. I offered him an out by telling him that he didn't have to remain in the relationship if it was too much for him. Do you know what my hot, caring, future husband said to me?

"Baby," (said in a gruff, redneck accent) "How do you know God didn't put me here to go through this with you?"

That was it for me. I knew I was going to marry him. His love and loyalty were irresistible.

If Reg were alive today, I would tell him to rejoice in his family. He shaped and molded 3 strong sons. He has grandsons that are indescribably precious. And he was lucky enough to be married to one of the most godly women that I know. I hope that Chris and I will leave such a legacy after we're gone. I hope that God will smile at us and say, "Well done, good and faithful one."