No More Excuses

Today has been an emotional, exhausting, and wonderful day. Chris and I left Trafton with his second family today (thank you, Emenhisers!) and traveled to Spartanburg for an adoption seminar. It was organized by America World Adoption; it was relatively small but powerful.

This morning, as I drank my crack (coffee), I read a devotion entitled "I know it's what I'm supposed to do, but..."

Mistake? I don't think so. It was all about how God speaks to us and we are to respond. We are to remain faithful to him and follow through when he nudges us forward.

As we drove, Chris and I talked about words. I am not shy about sharing personal thoughts with those I love. One reason: I like to profess things out loud. For instance, saying "We feel like we are supposed to adopt" is a public declaration of sorts. Until now, I was fearful of public opinion; I was scared someone would tell me I was a nut or stupid. I have recently realized that I don't really care if someone disagrees with us adopting or thinks it is a foolish move. In a way, we are asking those around us to hold us accountable. By telling others that we feel this calling, we are allowing ourselves to be questioned about it later. This is good for me- it keeps me focused. I'm NOT saying that we are to do everything we say we are going to do and do it perfectly. Rather, if GOD calls us to do something, we are to obey and act. By telling others, it becomes real. (Or it makes me feel like an idiot.)

So, back to the day. After arriving at the seminar, they started a video presentation. One of the verses was Proverbs 18:21: The tongue has the power of life and death. I almost laughed out loud, as we had JUST been talking about words and professing things out loud. Indeed, our tongue can hurt or help others. But it can also set us up for the future. Once I speak something, it's out there. Once I declare that God has spoken and I am following, I better do it.

For Chris, there were other words that hit him hardest. One of the speakers was a lady who was in the process of adopting. They had four boys of their own (she needs a medal) and they are getting ready to adopt from China. She openly explained that they were living in a way that didn't glorify God financially; they were not giving what they could to others. She told us that she read Crazy Love by Francis Chan (I LITERALLY slapped Chris at this point and squealed! This is one of my most favorite books in the world!) and it changed her life. Join the club, sister.
She said she realized "God doesn't bless us to keep the blessings all to ourselves. We are to give them away to others". Chris was hit hard by this. He told me later that those words made him SURE that this was our path. We may not have oodles of money put away, but we are given so much by our Lord. If we feel this calling, we are to respond. It is our responsibility.

Another couple spoke and let me tell you: this wife made me feel at ease. So I'm NOT crazy! And it IS possible! She was from Columbia originally (and a former second grade teacher) and her husband was from Rock Hill. They had their second little girl and she was 11 weeks old when this mommy heard God's whispers. She admitted that she wondered if she was crazy. But they started the paperwork and they are waiting on their little girl to come home now. When they asked me about countries that we were interested in, I professed to them, "I want a rainbow family!" Yeah, this is one of those times that I could potentially feel like an idiot. Instead of laughing, the husband shook his head, pointed to his wife, and said "Y'all need to hang out". Ha! She agreed with me that she too had always been interested in having a colorful family :)

God gave us a chance to spend time with brothers and sisters today. We were encouraged by their stories and it made my heart truly happy to know that there are other mamas out there feeling this way. Aside from wonderful fellowship, God used these folks to challenge us. This IS possible and it IS my plan for you.

These verses, from The Message, make me smile and gulp at the same time:

Rescue the perishing;
don't hesitate to step in and help.
If you say, "Hey, that's none of my business,"
will that get you off the hook?
Someone is watching you closely, you know—
Someone not impressed with weak excuses.
(Proverbs 24:12)

Lord, I am tired of excuses. I am tired of living safely and comfortably. I'm not saying that I'm going to sell our house and give all of our belongings away- although that is awesome if someone can do it. Instead, I am tired of my response to when God speaks.... 

Chris won't like that idea, God. I don't think I'll mention it to him.

Umm, I'm a public school teacher, God. Chris is a firefighter. We're not exactly millionaires.

We won't have enough bedrooms in our house if we adopt, God! It won't leave any bedrooms for guests.

People will think we're being careless or silly.

Okay, fine Lord. We'll adopt, but the child needs to be a certain age or from the country that WE choose. Oh, and maybe some minor special needs but nothing that takes us out of our comfort zone. 'Kay? Thanks.

The reality? He laughs at my excuses and my objections, knowing that He will get His way in the end. I cherish the baby growing inside me, and I worry about when we'll be able to adopt a child. He knows the timing and exactly how it will play out. He already knows exactly what child (children??) are going to share our home with us. They are going to be unbelievably beautiful and perfect in our eyes, and they are going to absolutely steal our hearts.